Barnes & Noble Stock Soars as It Explores a Sale

Barnes & Noble Stock Soars as It Explores a Sale: Barnes & Noble stock jumped more than 20% after the board said it would consider a sale of the troubled company, which analysts described as a place that’s “too tired, too large and too cluttered - and failing to offer consumers any compelling reason to visit the store.” What the hell do they mean “no compelling reason for people to visit?” While I’ve never bought anything there, I’ve enjoyed using their restrooms for over 20 years now. I highly recommend their restrooms to all my friends when they’re out and about and feel the need to

Amazon Announces New Alexa-Controlled Microwave Oven: Amazon has officially gotten into the kitchen appliance market with its new $59.99 Alexa-controlled microwave oven. Analysts say its the perfect item those who feel that having to push three or four buttons to cook a meal is just way too much work. Unfortunately, it appears folks will still have to get their butts up off the couch and physically put the food into the microwave if they want it cooked. Now I ask you, where is the justice in that?

Kanye Gave Kim $1 million to Turn Down Fashion Post for Yeezy Rival: Kim Kardashian was the inaugural guest on the Ashley Graham podcast and told a story about how a rival to Kanye’s Yeezy brand offered her a lot of money to post one of their ads, which prompted Kayne to give her a million dollar check to turn them down - which she says she promptly cashed. Good grief, she also supposedly sleeps with the guy. I shudder to think how much that costs!

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Richard Branson Gives Kate Winslet Free Ticket to Space: A little known fact is that Sir Richard Branson promised to give actress Kate Winslet a free ride aboard one of Branson’s Virgin Galactic space flights after she rescued Branson’s mother from a fire several years ago. And if she decides to take her husband along with her, she could likely become the first charter member of the exclusive 300-Mile-High-Club.

Users Claim iPhone XS Camera is Automatically Smoothing Skin: Some users are complaining the new technology on the Apple iPhone XS and XS Max 8-megapixel camera is making self-portraits appear just a little too good by aggressively smoothing out the skin so that the photo almost looks as if its been photoshopped. Interesting - and what did they say was the bad news?

Facebook Hacked and 50 Million Accounts Compromised: Facebook announced that some 50 million accounts have been hacked, but the company was unsure whether the affected accounts were actually accessed. Gee, not quite sure what those bad guys are gonna do with a bunch of marriage and baby shower announcements...but have fun.

Scientists Say Argentinosaurus Was Largest Dinosaur Ever: Scientists have determined that the long-necked Argentinosaurus was the biggest dinosaur that ever lived - weighing in at an earth-shaking 90 tons - based upon a formula based that uses the “thickness of their leg bones.” So what they’re saying is, the 90-ton Argentinosaurus wasn’t fat, it was just “big-boned?”

Study Claims Vegan Diet Best Way to Save Planet: According to a major new study, adopting a vegan diet (a diet free from animal products such as meat, eggs and all dairy products) is the best way to protect the planet. Of course, the down side is that if aliens ever visit our planet and ask us if we “got milk?” - we’d have to tell them “no, but we’d be more than happy to offer you a glass of unsweetened, almond milk at just 30 calories per cup.”

Marijuana Use Stable While Support For Legalization Grows: Support for legalizing marijuana for recreational and medical use is growing nationwide, but a recent Gallup survey found that this shift hasn't correlated with an increase in reported use of the drug. Perhaps, but as far as I’m concerned - marijuana use is something which should remain simply between you and the Frito-Lay Corporation.

Dunkin’ Drops Donuts From its Name: Restaurant chain Dunkin’ Donuts announced it’s dropping the word “Donuts” from its name and renaming itself simply “Dunkin’,” which will align itself with the company’s emphasis on coffee and other beverages. In related news, Starbucks announced they will be dropping the “Star” part of their name and simply calling themselves “Bucks,” which will align itself with the company’s emphasis on charging a small fortune for insanely overrated coffee.

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Scientists Studying Urban Coyotes Say They are Monogamous: Scientists at Ohio State University who study coyotes living in an urban environment claim that they are completely monogamous and that couples pair-off for life. Wow, imagine that? I had no idea that scientists at Ohio State were monogamous.

First Photos From the Surface of an Asteroid Released: Following the successful deployment of a pair of tiny rovers from Japan’s Hayabusa-2 spacecraft, the first color images from an asteroid’s surface have been send back to Earth. Wow, interesting! It looks a lot like a huge chunk of rock that’s hurling through space. Who knew? Anyway, all kidding aside, I suppose we should congratulate the Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency (JAXA) - you rock - literally!

Bill Cosby Attorneys Argue He’s Legally Blind: In court during his sentencing hearing, Bill Cosby’s attorneys argued that he should receive the lightest possible sentence because he’s legally blind. OK, he may be legally blind, but you know what - I still wouldn’t advise going on a blind date with him.