Iconic American Brewer Bill Coors Dies at 102

Iconic American Brewer Bill Coors Dies at 102: Bill Coors, a pioneer in the American brewing industry and former chairman of the Adolph Coors Company, died peacefully at his home at age 102. The family is asking everyone that in lieu of sending flowers, please pick up a couple of six packs at your local 7-Eleven and get good and hammered instead.

Research Shows Meteorites Triggering Avalanches on Mars: A research team has concluded that as meteorites careen toward the surface of Mars, they often trigger massive avalanches, even before they hit the ground. Fortunately, no injuries have been reported.

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Scientists Find Pain Reliever in Coffee Similar to Morphine: Brazilian scientists say they’ve discovered a protein in coffee that has effects similar to the pain reliever morphine. The only difference being that buying morphine is sure a helluva lot cheaper than buying coffee at Starbucks.

Piranha-Like Fish Fossil Discovered in Germany: Researchers say they’ve discovered an ancient Piranha-like fish in Germany - a fish that would have been capable of ripping the flesh right off the bones of its prey. Scientists say these finds are normally rather difficult to date, but luckily - the fish was found wrapped in a very old New York Times crossword puzzle section, so they just dated it using that.

Amazon Rolls Out Whisper Mode for Alexa: Amazon is rolling out its “Whisper Mode” for all its Alexa products - with the smart assistant responding in kind to your whispered commands. This whisper feature is expected to be extremely useful to protect the confidentiality of people sooooo stupid that they have to ask Alexa questions such as “who is the President of Puerto Rico?” or “can the baby get pregnant if a woman has sex with a man during pregnancy?”

Climate Change Expected to Take Toll on Barley Used to Make Beer: The barley used today in the making of beer is expected to take a huge hit as the climate worsens, making your favorite lager, ale or IPA possibly more scarce and definitely more pricey. While I’m certainly no paleontologist, I’m guessing that’s exactly what may have happened to all the dinosaurs. Climate change heated up the planet, killed off most of the barley and these big guys, being huge beer drinkers - just couldn’t live without their beer.

Kidman Claims Tom Cruise Marriage Kept Her From Being Sexually Harassed: In a recent interview, Oscar-winning actress Nicole Kidman claimed that she felt that being married to an extremely powerful man like Tom Cruise protected her from being sexually harassed. Hell, if that theory is correct, then it sounds like probably about the safest thing an actress could do back in those days - would have been to marry Bill Cosby or Harvey Weinstein.

Pair of Human Lungs Found on LA Sidewalk: The LA Times is reporting that the Los Angeles County Coroner's office has just taken possession of what appears to be a pair of human lungs that were found on a South Los Angeles sidewalk. County officials say anyone who finds that they’re having extreme difficulty breathing, may wanna head over to the Coroner's office as soon as possible.

Hundreds of Dietary Supplements Tainted with Prescription Drugs: A new study found that more than 750 supplement brands have been found to be tainted with a prescription drug, with the most common drugs being generic Viagra, sibutramine (a banned weight-loss drug) and synthetic steroids. Interesting topic for me, because I quit gave up alcohol and coffee quite a long time ago, so now I have to take beer, wine and caffeine supplements. And to be completely honest, I have my doubts about whether those supplements actually work, especially since the spokesperson’s name is “Placebo" Domingo.

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Hawking Predicted Wealthy Will Create Superhuman Race: In a collection of articles and essays, the late physicist Stephen Hawking is still creating controversy by suggesting a new race of superhumans that could destroy the rest of humanity may develop through wealthy people having their and their children’s DNA edited. Sounds like a dire prediction. On the other hand, if it helps eliminate all the idiot drivers on the road, I’m all for it.

Library Worker Sentenced for Stealing Overdue Fines: A New York library worker who admitted stealing more than $160,000 in overdue book fines - has been sentenced to six months in jail. On a positive note, I guess now she’ll have some time to catch up on her reading.