Louisiana Man Claims Ghost Planted Meth at His Home

Louisiana Man Claims Ghost Planted Meth at His Home: A 59-year-old Louisiana man who called police to his home was charged with possession of a controlled substance and giving a false police report after falsely claiming to have been stabbed in the head with an axe and claiming that it was actually a ghost who planted the crystal meth that authorities found on his nightstand. First of all, why is it that whenever a meth addict gets arrested, they always seem to be wearing a white t-shirt? Anyway, I have no sympathy. I mean, this guy is obviously old enough to know that it’s never a good idea to trust a ghost carrying a pickaxe and a vile of crystal meth.

New Data Showing Older Folks are the Happiest: New research shows that the older you get, the more self-assured and content you are, with people in their 60’s more likely to be happier and self-confident than most of those in their younger decades. In response, psychologists are now recommending younger people who may be feeling somewhat ill at ease - look into getting as old as they possibly can as quickly as possible.

https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy...

Taylor Swift Breaks Political Silence to Endorse Democrats: Saying that in the past she has been reluctant to publicly voice her political opinions, she now feels it necessary due to several events in her life and in the world in the past two years. And while Democrats are jumping for joy, Republicans claim this proves Taylor’s not all that swift.

White House Gift Shop Selling Brett Kavanaugh Commemorative Coins: Even before the Senate had voted to confirm judge Brett Kavanaugh to the US Supreme Court, the White House gift shop was already selling coins with his name and likeness on it. While the coins are strictly commemorative and aren’t intended to be used for general commerce, Papa John’s indicated they plan accept the coins from people who wish to buy beer.

Lack of Sleep May Harm Men's Sperm: A new study from Denmark determined that not getting enough sleep may harm men’s sperm, with men who slept poorly having lower sperm counts and fewer sperm that had formed correctly. I get it. Hell, my sperm always tries to get a solid eight hours of sleep, but sometimes it’s just too damned hard to sleep that long.

First Gray Wolf Seen in Grand Canyon in Decades: A rare gray wolf has recently been spotted on the north rim of the Grand Canyon National Park in Arizona in what would be the first gray wolf sighting in the park since 1940. Sadly, those who actually saw the animal say that "the old gray wolf, she ain't what she used to be."

Baltimore Most Dangerous City for Drivers: A new insurance industry survey lists Baltimore as the most dangerous city in the country for drivers. In related news, Los Angeles was listed as the most dangerous city for people who enjoy breathing.

https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy...

Weird Goblin Planet Found On The Edge Of Solar System: A strange little dwarf planet that travels the fringes of our solar system with a diameter of just 186 miles has been determined to have a 40,000-year orbit. You mean to tell me a year there is really 40,000 Earth years long? Hell, that would mean my DMV appointment would last for over 30 years! Of course, it already seems like it lasts that long anyway, so I guess it really doesn’t make all that much the difference.

German Neurologist Finds Dark Spot on Brain Where Evil Lurks: A German neurologist says he’s identified a dark patch on the frontal brain of violent criminals - which isn’t present in normal brains and for which he feels may be responsible for their violent behavior. Good news! Now, if Apple can just come up with a software update to fix that patch before anyone else gets hurt, everything will be fine again.