Motherhood Increases Gray Matter in Women’s Brains

Motherhood Increases Gray Matter in Women’s Brains: New research shows that the female brain changes after motherhood, with women’s brains showing a significant increase in gray matter after giving birth and raising a child. I don’t know about more gray matter, but my mom said it sure meant a helluva lot more gray hair.

Schwarzenegger is Returning to the World of Bodybuilding: Arnold Schwarzenegger is returning to the world of bodybuilding as an executive editor for both Muscle Fitness and Flex magazines, to which he will contribute monthly columns and dish out all the personal and professional insight. Observers say about the only thing missing in Arnold’s return to bodybuilding is his body.

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Sommelier Cheating Scandal Rocks Wine World: A cheating scandal at last month’s master sommelier examination is sending shock waves through some communities, as the Court of Master Sommeliers announced they’ll be invalidating 23 recently conferred MS titles. So next time you’re dining out and the sommelier recommends a nice Red Lady 21 to go with your swordfish, I think you can safely conclude this is one of the sommeliers whose title has been revoked.

Kentucky Claims Gay Marriage Threatens State’s Birth Rates: Republican legislators in Kentucky claim their ban on gay marriage should be retained because gay marriage threatens the stability of the state's birth rates. Who they trying to kid? Hell, in a state like Kentucky, sheep and horses pose a bigger threat to birth rates than gay marriage ever will.

Scientists Shocked to Find that Our Sun’s Almost Perfectly Round: Scientists say they are amazed to discover that new data show that the sun is an almost perfectly round ball. New data? Hell, why didn’t they just step outside their office one afternoon and take a look up in the sky?

Scientists Say Love at First Sight Doesn’t Really Exist: Scientists in the Netherlands have found that what many believe to be love at first sight - is really nothing more than intense physical attraction. Researchers say people who believe in “love at first sight” are people who’ve have lost sight of the fact that it doesn’t really exist.

Catastrophic Mental Health Changes Linked to Climate Change: A new study is warning of “catastrophic” dips in mental health for some if climate change causes the global temperature to increase by 2 degrees Celsius above pre-industrial levels. So for all you folks who find my jokes disgusting and offensive - just chalk it up to climate change.

Neanderthal DNA Deep in Human Genes: People of Asian and European descent, almost anyone with origins outside of Africa, - have inherited a sliver of DNA from the Neanderthals - some of them may protect modern humans against infections. Yea, well I just had my DNA tested by 23 and Me and to say my family has Neanderthal genes would apparently be giving us an upgrade. In fact, they sent me what was basically an apology letter saying “sorry, but we have no idea where the hell any of the crap we found in your lineage comes from. May you and your family find comfort in the fact that the statutes of limitations don’t go back 10,000 years.”

Lawsuit Claims LaCroix Beverages Contain Cockroach Poison: The makers of the wildly popular sparkling water LaCroix, which has become a phenomenon over the past year, were hit with a lawsuit alleging the beverage contains "non-natural flavorings," including an ingredient said to be used as a "cockroach insecticide.” And that my friends, is exactly why I still do most of my drinking right out of the garden hose.

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Google to Shut Down Google+: Google announced they are going to shut down the consumer version of Google+ over the next 10 months. While you always hate to see businesses closing, I suppose they made the right decision considering all the people across the country who are asking “and what the hell is Google+?”

Activist Bill Ackman's Hedge Fund Invests $900 million in Starbucks: Activist investor Bill Ackman is making a big bet on coffee, announcing that his hedge fund just invested nearly $900 million in Starbucks. What’s the big deal about that? Hell, I spent almost that much on coffee there last month.