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NASA Set to Announce the Demise of the Mars Opportunity Rover

A satirical look at current events!

NASA Set to Announce the Demise of the Mars Opportunity Rover: After 15 years on the Red Planet, it appears that the incredible Mars Opportunity rover has finally gone silent and has fallen prey to a massive Martian dust storm.

Now, I’m obviously no rocket scientist, but have these NASA geniuses ever considered that Opportunity’s failure to respond to their commands may be because after having been on the Red Planet for all this time, it eventually decided to fully convert to Martian and may no longer even understand English?

Otherwise, we can only conclude that NASA put millions of dollars into a Mars rover that was eventually taken down by a lousy dust allergy. For crying out loud, why don’t they just up an antihistamine - non-drowsy of course - after all, you don’t want the damn thing going back to sleep again. But they ought to do something - I mean, it’s not like it's millions of miles away - oh, wait!

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Other than that, about the only other possibilities I can think of is that maybe Opportunity forgot to renew its rover’s license and is still in line over at the Martian DMV or, the rover is simply hammered on Martinis. As one can imagine, martinis are quite popular on Mars. And if that’s the case, NASA may be forced to finally announce that “Red Rover, Red Rover - Opportunity is over.”

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