Study Finds More Americans Using Marijuana: A new study found that more Americans than ever are using marijuana. Can’t say that I blame them. After all, marijuana has a lot of health benefits - both physical and psychological. Hell, I credit marijuana with helping me finally overcome my Doritos phobia.
Richard Gere Will Reportedly Become a Dad Again at 69: Its being reported that 69-year-old actor Richard Here and his 35-year-old wife Alejandra Silva are expecting. Sounds like damn near perfect timing if you ask me, because, when you think about it - just about the time the child is finally fully potty trained, Gere will be ready for diapers. One thing’s for sure, if Gere had just left things at 69, we wouldn’t be talking about pregnancy in the first place.
Ariana Grande Injures Hand While Filming Carpool Karaoke: Pop idol Ariana Grande took to social media to say she injured her hand while she was filming James Corden’s popular "Carpool Karaoke" segment. Perhaps its time that we as a society start asking - just how many pop singers need to get injured before we put a stop to this incredibly dangerous practice of singing popular tunes while riding in a car? Until that’s answered, Corden’s “carpool” will continue turning our favorite pop songs into a “pool of blood.”
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Woman’s Mummified Body Found in Her Car Six Years After Her Death: CNN is reporting that the mummified remains of a Michigan woman in her 40’s were found in the back seat of her car parked right in her driveway - about six years after her death - and no one reported the woman missing, even though she had a job and an adult son. Gee, you’d think at least the son would have missed his mummy.
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Alex Jones Telling Followers to Buy His Merchandise After Banishment: Summoning everything from the Alamo to Roman gladiators, right-wing conspiracy theorist Alex Jones is calling on his loyal Infowars followers to rise up against the anti-Trump “sociopaths” who’ve removed him from most major social media platforms by buying more merchandise from his website. Personally, I kind of feel sorry for the poor guy and, if it were up to me - I’d love to send him tons of money and purchase loads and loads of goodies from his website - but that just won’t be possible because I'm still paying off all my student loans from Trump University.
Elon Musk Tweets He Is Considering Taking Tesla Private: Tesla stock soared after founder Elon Musk tweeted he is considering taking Tesla private in a deal worth tens of billions of dollars. Take them private? Gee, does that mean he’s no longer gonna sell the cars and just keep them all for himself? He must be planning on doing an awful lot of driving.
Missing Man's Body Found in Girlfriend's Freezer: Police have found the body of a Ventura, California man who had been missing for more than two years in a freezer in his girlfriend's storage unit. I’m gonna assume that under the circumstances, its gonna take quite some time before this relationship thaws out.
Duke University Rules Student Porn Star Broke No Rules: Duke University has ruled that a student who revealed she works as a porn actress in order to pay her fees has broken no rules. Good decision - because when you think about it, what’s the difference whether you’re working at Walmart or doing porn to pay your tuition? Either way - you’re still getting screwed!
UPS Driver Has Sex With Hooker in His Truck Who Posts Online: A UPS driver who decided to spend his lunch break having sex with a prostitute in the back of his delivery truck will probably regret his decision after the hooker took pics with her cellphone and posted them online. In his defense, the driver claimed he was just delivering his package. After all, the UPS slogan is “remember to ask what brown can do for you.” Talk about the postman cometh.
Man Arrested for Taunting Yellowstone Bison In Viral Video: Park rangers say the man whom authorities believe is seen in a viral taunting a bison in Yellowstone National Park has finally been arrested. All I can say is, this guy really took a huge risk here - why its plan crazy to assume that just because its a wild animal, its not gonna press charges.
Research Finds Simply Walking Improves Your Creativity: According to new research, people tend to generate more creative ideas when they walk as opposed to when they sit. So - I guess that pretty much explains why women are always telling me to take a hike! Its their way of helping we guys achieve peak creativity.
Airline Pilot Busted for Cocaine Smuggling After Baggie Bursts: A commercial pilot is receiving treatment at Memorial Hermann Northeast Hospital in Houston after one of the more than 60 bags of Colombian cocaine that he had stashed in his stomach burst. A professional airline pilot working as a drug mule? That’s just too much to swallow.
Almond Milk Recalled Due to Possible Contamination by Real Milk: The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced a recall of nearly 150,000 half-gallon cartons of “milk-infested” Vanilla Almond Breeze milk, which is an allergen to those who are lactose intolerant. I can relate - hell, I once lost a fortune investing in a herd of lactose intolerant cows. I probably should have invested in almonds, but who am I trying to kid, I have no idea how to milk an almond. And even if I tried, people would think I’ve gone nuts.
New Study Solves Why Zebras Have Stripes: Since the 1870s, evolutionary theorists have debated how the zebra got its trademark stripes, but now a new study claims that the strongest likelihood is that the stripes discourage parasitic flies. Perhaps, but if you ask me, the question they should be asking is whether or not the zebras really earned those stripes.
Study Finds Scratching Brings Pleasure: According to a new study, scratching not only relieves itching, but also brings us much pleasure. Yea, and this study only scratches the surface.
