Swarm of 20,000 Bees Attack New York City Hot Dog Stand

Swarm of 20,000 Bees Attack New York City Hot Dog Stand: Hordes of New Yorkers eagerly watched as a police officer used a vacuum to remove 20,000 bees that suddenly attacked a hotdog stand a block south of Times Square. Wow, sounds like this hot dog stand has been generating a lot of buzz these days. Wonder how in the hell they figured out there were 20,000 bees? I guess they just count all the bee's legs and then divide by six. Witnesses say that while police vacuumed - bystanders found it quite entertaining, but of course all the bees thought it really sucked.

Detroit to Shut Off Drinking Water to All Its Schools: Detroit authorities have ordered drinking water shut off to all 110 city public schools pending further testing after elevated levels of lead and copper were found in water at more than a dozen buildings. In a show of generosity, Trump supporters have offered to serve the students some of the cool aid they’ve been drinking.

Boy Makes Up Kidnapping Story to Avoid Dentist: A 12-year-old boy is in hot water after he ran away from home to avoid going to the dentist, and then, after he was found - made up a detailed kidnapping story which had police looked for his kidnapper for an entire month. I tell ya, I just don’t get kids these days! Why back in my day - we would have just called in a bomb threat.

https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy...

Study Finds Young People Not Interested in Cars: A recent study by Gartner research revealed that 46% of all 18-to-24-year-old drivers in the United States would choose access to the Internet over access to a car. That’s because you don’t need a damn car to get to a porn site.

Alex Jones Says He’s Advising Trump About Google Censorship: After President Trump took to Twitter to complain that his Google search results were showing negative content, conspiracy theorist Alex Jones came forward to say that he is the one behind President Trump’s new war against Google. Oh, come on! We have a world renowned, paranoid schizophrenic, conspiracy theorist advising a classic narcissist - and you’re telling me the best they could come up with was they’re unhappy with Google’s search results? I don’t mind saying - that’s quite a disappointment!

Man Severely Burned After E-Cigarette Explodes in Pants: A man had to be treated at the hospital for burns after his E-cigarette exploded in his pants inside an Anaheim electronics store. Egads! As if that wasn’t bad enough, now he’ll have to head right back to the electronics store and pick himself up an E-penis.

Scientists Link Air Pollution Exposure To Cognitive Decline: Researchers conducted math and verbal tests over the course of multiple years and found a strong link between air pollution exposure and cognitive decline. Well then, guess that pretty much explains all the frigg’n idiots behind the wheel on the freeways here in LA.

Russian Trolls Spreading Discord Over Vaccine Safety: A new investigation uncovered several accounts - now known to belong to the same Russian trolls who interfered in the last US election - tweeting false information against vaccines in an attempt to spread more discord throughout the US. Truthfully, I think the Russians are just a bit confused and don’t realize that medical science doesn’t consider downing multiple shots of Stolichnaya every day as a viable vaccine against disease.

Trump Appears to Think American Flag Has Blue Stripe: While on a photo opp at the Nationwide Children's Hospital in Ohio, President Trump was spending some time sitting with the kids and coloring in American flags, when he apparently became confused and added a blue stripe to the his flag. Now in all fairness, the Russian flag does has a blue strip, so its understandable he’d be a little confused. What I don’t understand is - why he didn’t just have one of the secret service guys seize one of those punk kid’s flags and just copy off that?

Lawyer Says Maria Butina Not A Kremlin-Trained Seductress: Arguing for her release on bond, Maria Butina’s lawyer says she is not the "spy-novel Kremlin-trained seductress” prosecutors try to portray her as - claiming that image is sexist and that Miss Butina got to where she is by pure intellect. OK, but where she is - is in jail, so…Now if you ask me, even prison sounds like a better life than having to service fat, sweaty, old conservative Republican men in hotel rooms - all for Mother Russia.

https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy...

Strong Reaction to Duncan Hunter Throwing Wife Under the Bus: Indicted California Congressman Duncan Hunter (R - CA) drew a strong negative reaction after going on Fox News and telling the host that it was his wife to blame for illegally spending $250,000 of campaign funds on personal things such as tuition, dental bills and Italian vacations. Why, how adorably quaint! She thought her Trump-admiring Republican husband would take personal responsibility.

Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous Host Robin Leach Dies: Robin Leach, a strong Donald Trump supporter who became a symbol of unapologetic opulence as host of the popular syndicated television show “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous” in the 1980s and ’90s, has died in Las Vegas at the age of 76. Gee, I thought the guy was “76” about 30 years ago. But all kidding aside, we owe him a debt of gratitude. I mean, shows like his paved the way for future conspicuous consumption, self-indulgent freaks like Donald Trump and the Kardashians.

Scientists Say Higgs boson Explains Why Matter Has Mass: Scientists say the discovery of the Higgs boson, also known as the “God Particle,” helps explain why matter has mass. Wow, these guys must be really smart. Hell, I’m still trying to figure out why Catholics have mass.