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Trump Cancels Out of US WW I Cemetery Ceremony Due to Rain

A satirical look at current events!

Trump Cancels Out of US WW I Cemetery Ceremony Due to Rain: President Trump caused embarrassment and even outrage after he canceled an appearance to honor the brave sacrifices US troops made in France during World War One - because it was raining

What the hell, did the President’s favorite umbrella get bone spurs or something? You’d think the Trump people would keep a few extra umbrellas on hand, bigly enough to protect the President’s beautiful crop of golden hair. Besides, Trump sent Gen John Kelly in his place. Now Gen Kelly’s already bald, so who cares if a bunch of rain falls on his head? On the other hand, rain never seems to deter Trump from visiting to the golf course, but I digress.

Oh, and did I mention that President Trump just said he’d never forgive President Obama for cutting the military budget? I mean, just think what a hardship that probably caused to the profits and stock dividends of Mr Trump’s multinational defense contractor pals? Besides, everyone knows it’s a hell of a lot easier to hold a rally for your devoted followers in some well-heated entertainment venue and complain about those damn kneeling NFL players disrespecting the troops, then it is to stand outside somewhere in France in the rain.

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And in all fairness, I think those brave young men, who crawled through the dirt and mud in France, wounded and under fire - would certainly understand that they were getting paid to get filthy-dirty, while President Trump likely just came from a $500 spa treatment at his 5-star hotel and doesn’t wanna get all yucky standing around in the rain, listening to speeches about a bunch of guys who died a hundred years ago. After all, how much patriotism can they expect from one guy?

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