Patch Blog: A Gasoline Diet, No?

I went to fill up the car in South Pasadena and paid nearly $3.80 a gallon for regular unleaded gas. We all complain about the skyrocketing price of gas. It's outrageous.

Then today I went to the grocery store and paid $6.99 a gallon for the organic Horizon milk that we buy for the girls. We all complain about the skyrocketing price of milk. It's outrageous. I'm no mathematician, but the price of gas still seems so much lower than the price of milk.

So I've come to only one conclusion, I need to convert the girls to a diet of gasoline. Imagine how much I could save if I only paid $3.80 a gallon to feed them—as opposed to $6.99. I'd cut my bill for them nearly in half each week.

I know it may seem far-fetched, and milk does the body good etc., etc., etc. I know milk builds strong bones and keeps teeth strong and provides brain power. But gas with that ethanol blend and the cute car character at the Chevron can keep their engines running longer and their exhaust clean. As we all know, little kids can have some really stinky exhaust at times, so this is really a bonus.

And think of it this way, some full service stations still wash you down and kick the tires when you fill up with a few gallons. So if I take the girls there for breakfast, they can get a shower and a checkup at the same time.

Now to the environmentalists out there who are bound to be naysayers, arguing that we don't need more reliance on fossil fuels and more carbons in the environment to run our children, riddle me this. Would you rather have kids taking in a couple of gallons of "regular" each week, or continue depleting the world's supply of milk, which can be used to power our morning Starbucks coffee instead. A much wiser usage I think.

In closing, I see one day in the not so distant future, where we wean the children off milk and gasoline all together. They'll be hybrids. Or straight electric plug-ins. Just don't tell them where the plug will need to go.