Before I post this story, I must explain for those who do not know. Almost two years ago now, I formed a group here on Facebook called "The MS Stumble and Fall Society" which has slowly but positively grown to a membership of almost 1600 and growing daily. The reason I am telling this as there are references to the group and we call it "The MS Stumble and Fall Society" ( family) because it has became exactly that - A loving family built on Love and Laughter, Caring and Sharing". Now on with the story:
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Yesterday and last night were a wonderful way to enjoy this season of love. As all of you (or most of you) know, my wife Mona was diagnosed exactly one year ago with Alzheimer's (Vascular Dementia) and it kind of kicked both of our Christmas spirits right square in the butt.
Over this past year there have been almost miraculous improvements in both her attitude of acceptance and mine, in learning to be more gentle and accepting. It has never been hard for me to accept my MS, I just accept it and deal with it and tell the doctors to "K.M.A. -- after all it is the season of love". It was very hard for me to even consider the lost of Mona's personality and then her mind then her and have only a shell that Mona used to live in sit across from me.
A few months ago I "not so gently" forced her to begin attending an adult Senior Car center 3 times a week. This was done after I had been told, I would need to put her into a "MEMORY CARE FACILITY" (we used to call them rest homes), you know a place where you dump your unwanted troublesome family member who you got tired of caring for or helping. A SANITARIUM FOR THE MENTALLY IMPAIRED - they go in and they are there until they die. I told all of the doctors, social workers, and family who thought they were helping both Mona and me to take a very long walk on a very short pier as well as suggesting how they could self satisfaction with..... - )you get the idea).
Anyway as I was saying, almost miraculously a change has been happening, and the fog of Alzheimer's is slowly withdrawing. No I am not saying, cure. The association 3 full 8 to 4 days per week, with others experiencing Alzheimer's and other dreadful diseases is making a change. She looks forward (at first it was a nasty argument every morning) to getting to (as she calls it now) her meeting, and all the work that she has to do. She will never return to the lady that was mentally ill enough to marry me, but she is showing the light that burned so strong in her before.
Back to yesterday and last night. Mona's son has been begging her to let him take us to dinner. Last night I had her get dressed on the premise of taking her shopping. We headed out and when she saw I was headed to Albany (12 miles away) she got a little upset, but I told her we were going to go to Target and get a couple presents.
I pulled up in front of Elmer's (a family restaurant) and Monte was waiting. He gave her a long hug and then we walked her inside. It took her a few minutes to realize we were going to have the long awaited dinner and she became joyous. After dinner he had us follow him to a local project he is in charge of this year "Santa's Story Book Village" and he got a wheel chair to push her around it for his personal guided tour. It was chilly and when she said she was cold "A CHRISTMAS BLANKET AND STOCKING CAP APPEARED FROM NO WHERE", and the tour began. After about 45 minutes the tour was over and the village was about to open, she was starting to get tired and wanted to come home. Monte gave her a big hug and kiss and we came home.
About 10 minutes after we got home and fed the deer their evening meal and filled all the bowls she settled down to watch Jeopardy, when the cats got real jumpy and were running to the front door. (People who live with cats will understand and believe that one -- they are watch cats). I open the door and called Mona to come look.
When I nodded my head, beautiful voices of the young women and young men of our church began the first chorus of "Jingle Bells" just as she got to the door. She would not wait for me to get her a coat, and went outside immediately. The kids sang several Christmas Carols and ended with "Silent Night" by then she had tears running down her cheeks and an ear to ear smile as she joined them in the last verse. It was a miracle and the perfect end to a wonderful evening.
I just felt it was a wonderful story to tell our MS Stumble and Fall Society FAMILY as I wish everyone "A MERRY CHRISTMAS". btw here at "The MS Stumble and Fall Society" Family, happy holidays doesn't cut it. It will always be "MERRY CHRISTMAS". Have a wonderful and beautiful holiday season and look forward to the miracles of the NEW YEAR SOON TO COME".
MERRY CHRISTMAS
Bill Bennett
