The Santa Barbara Wedding Curse

They said it wouldn't last...and it didn't!

The wedding reportedly cost $10 million -- a big ticket item even for upscale Santa Barbara.  Who can forget the hoopla surrounding the wedding of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries?  72 days of wedded bliss...What happened?  Was it the so-called Santa Barbara Wedding Curse? 

Who knows?  Remember when Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck planned to marry in Santa Barbara?  They spent $2 million on invitations (we understand they were encrusted with rhinestones) and table settings imported from France for about 300 guests.  Quel Dommage...the wedding was postponed indefinitely.  Sandra Bullock and Jesse James said their 'I dos' in Santa Barbara too (theirs lasted 5 years).  Jennie Garth and Peter Facinelli's marriage holds the record at slightly more than 10 years.  We don't want to rain on anyone's parade (least of all Drew Barrymore and Will Kopelman's) but according to unscientific data the Santa Barbara wedding venue appears to be cursed.                 

Santa Barbara is California's bewitching answer to the Mediterranean's French/Italian Riviera.  A mild climate, fertile green rolling hills gently sloping toward the sparkling beaches of the coastline.  Do couples romanticize about the place?  Is it a fairy tale setting that lovers read too much drama into, with expectations of 'happily-ever-after'?  Who can forget the over-the-top nuptials of Madonna and Sean Penn?  What about Malibu weddings?  Are they part of the curse too? 

We've been investigating the real estate between the Santa Inez Mountains and the Pacific Ocean, the entire coastline from Santa Monica to Paso Robles.  It's a fascinating history.  The Chumash Indians inhabited 7,000 square miles of this land beginning in 3,000 B.C.  They were hunter-gatherers, fisherman, medicine men, astronomers, traders and canoe builders.  Above all, they were united with nature and regarded the land as sacred.  Known as the Sea Shell people they knew and respected every blade of grass of their surroundings.  They were a friendly people who spoke eight dialects and lived in groups, not tribes.  Each group had a Chief, Medicine Man and Priest/Astrologer.  When Juan Rodriguez Cabrillo's ship approached, they guided him through the rough waters of the Channel Islands.  They welcomed the Spanish who were sent to convert them to Christianity.  They had always considered themselves as the keepers of the "Western Gate" -- the sacred pathway to the afterlife.

The Spanish Conquistadors and later the Colonists destroyed everything the Chumash held dear and sacred.  Some of them were slaughtered, many held menial jobs.  The men were separated from their wives to prevent future generations from surviving.  Santa Barbara was split into small parcels and given to retiring soldiers by their commanders.  During Mission Secularization, land was also given to Spanish families who were loyal to the Mexican government.  The Chumash culture all but disappeared.  The land was eventually turned into shopping malls, parking lots, fast food shacks and freeways. 

Even the rivers and streams became encased in concrete in the name of progress.  The Chumash were true conservationists who loved nature.  They would never build monuments to themselves or abuse the earth by sticking solar panels and windmills on the land they treasured.  They lived in total peace and harmony with nature.  A Chumash Curse?  It's possible.  What do you think?