THERAPIST THURSDAY: Finding Peace Through Mindfulness

According to Wikipedia, “Mindfulness is the psychological process of bringing one’s attention to experiences occurring in the present moment.” It is being present in our current circumstances and noticing what is occurring around us. It occurs when our mind is focused on the here and now, with a sense of awareness of our surroundings, our own bodies, and our own thoughts and emotions. So, what makes this an important concept and one that I often incorporate in my work with clients?

In our world today, there are constantly things competing for our attention. So much so, in fact, that there are times I personally find myself reaching for electronic stimulation when I actually have a moment of quiet. Do you find yourself doing that? In that moment when no one is bugging you at work or the kids are actually all away at the same time, you reach for your phone and open your email or your Facebook app, not even realizing that you’re doing it? There are times I don’t realize it until my email is open and I see an email I just saw a few minutes ago. It is then that I realize I opened my email and that I had just done the same thing a few minutes before! Why do we do this? It is a completely mindless process; what prompts it? Unfortunately, our brains have gotten so used to constant stimulation, that we have difficulty slowing things down to take a moment to just BE! As much as I love technology and as much as it has made life easier in so many ways, it definitely has made this issue much worse.

When we do things like this, we are doing them in a mindless way. We are not even aware that we are doing it until something makes us realize it. This is the opposite of mindfulness. When we are mindful, we are aware of what is occurring around us, of what our bodies are feeling, and we notice all of our senses. Whenever I work on mindfulness with a client in a session, I suddenly become aware of the sound of traffic or the clock in my office, noises I will not have noticed earlier, despite having been in my office all day. When our brains are focused on other matters, we lose awareness of our own experiences in the moment.

If you find yourself always thinking of the next thing that is to occur, rather that be what you will make for dinner or how you will get the kids to their sports practice, you become unaware of the world around you and how you feel. This often leads to anxiety. Our cortisol levels (stress hormone) are increased when we are in this state and we are more tense and on edge.

Insomnia often occurs when we are not good at mindfulness. If our body is often in an aroused state and our brain in always thinking, we are not able to enter the relaxing process of self-soothing that allows us to eventually enter a sleep state. Practicing mindfulness several times per day, including right before bed, can greatly help with insomnia.

Two techniques that I often use with clients to help them begin to achieve mindfulness are grounding and centering. You can use both at home. For grounding, you close your eyes and notice the bottom of your feet. Experiment with different pressures until you find one that feels comfortable to you, and then hold that pressure as you notice the bottom of your feet. If your mind begins to drift, as it is very likely to do, that is OK, just refocus once you notice it has drifted, and again notice the bottom of your feet. Try to hold this for a few minutes. Do not judge yourself for the wandering brain, this is normal. Simply remind yourself to go back to noticing. There is no anticipated outcome when doing this, we are not judging, only NOTICING. Another similar exercise is to again close your eyes, but this time place one hand over your heart (in the same way you would to say the pledge of allegiance) and put the other hand on your abdomen. This time you are noticing the palms of your hands. Any other thoughts you let drift from your mind and come back to just noticing your palms. Again, without judgement or expectation, just noticing.

When beginning working on grounding or centering or any other exercise to increase mindfulness, keep in mind that your brain will likely drift to noticing other things initially. This is OK. Our brains must be trained to get good at being disciplined enough to be able to do this work. Especially because our brains are so used to stimulation. For them to be in a calm and relaxed, yet aware state, for any length of time, is unusual.

Practicing mindfulness can have many health benefits. People who do so are often sharper mentally and have improved memory and concentration. In addition to this, mindfulness can greatly decrease anxiety and increase a relaxed state. Both of these have been linked to a longer lifespan and less physical health problems over time.

I encourage everyone to create the time to practice mindfulness several times a day. Make it a part of your routine. Take five minutes three times a day and shut everything else out. In this crazy world full of stimulation and stress, we owe it to ourselves!

If you would like a topic addressed in our weekly Therapist Thursday column, please email Rochelle at meetme4therapy@gmail.com.

Rochelle Whitson is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice in Temecula, CA.

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