THERAPIST THURSDAY: Back To School! Will You Have Balance?

As the new school year closes in, I find myself thinking about all of the chores and responsibilities upon us. Shopping for school clothes, new shoes, backpacks, and supplies. Registering for the school year and getting books and schedules from the school. Stocking up on snacks and lunch foods. The list goes on and on. And with the beginning of the school year, comes resuming kids’ sports and activities. As I ponder all of these things to come (I’m procrastinating getting started a bit), it makes me think of how busy life will become shortly and how I will keep a healthy work-life balance this school year.

It is so important to take care of ourselves and not to be overworked. It’s important for parents and for our children as well. And with all of the demands facing busy families these days, it’s also increasingly difficult to keep this balance and have appropriate self-care. In attempting to do so, here are a few things to keep in mind…

Downtime is important

I know so many families who are literally busy every day of every week. There is virtually no downtime. With kids’ sports the way they are these days, it’s very easy to find yourself in this situation, with the kids competing all weekend, every weekend. But remember, downtime is important. We need some time to decompress. Find a way to protect some of your time and do the same for your children. The recharge that comes with a little time to just “be” is what re-fuels us and allows us to ultimately accomplish our goals. Without downtime, burn out is likely.

Say NO when you need to

Believe it or not, it is OK to say NO. At first it may feel awkward if you are not used to doing so. You may feel guilty. But you do not need to volunteer for every position that is available within your kids’ school. You do not need to take on the responsibility of every role or every event. If you find that this has been you in the past, saying YES and never no, then you are likely in a position where people expect it of you now. But you’ll be surprised that this will change once you start to set some boundaries with it. And you’ll also be surprised that the feelings of guilt will diminish as well. You may even feel empowered once you are able to say NO more easily.

Be sure to eat and sleep

Sounds so simple that it should be a no-brainer. And yet, so many of us don’t get enough sleep or the quality of sleep is lacking. And many of us skip meals in the attempt to accomplish all we need to within the day. But eating and sleeping are necessary for us all. It is what fuels our bodies so we can do all that we do. And it is so important in both self care and a good life balance. So, when it comes time to unwind, put down that laptop or phone and relax. Allow yourself to being the shutting down process that eventually leads to sound sleep. And when it is time to eat, make yourself some food and SIT DOWN and eat it, preferably without a device nearby.

Take some time for recreation

Recreating; it’s fun! But it’s also important. In fact, there’s evidence that recreating on a regular basis can increase a person’s life span by up to ELEVEN YEARS! I don’t know many other lifestyle choices that can impact lifespan so drastically. So, whether your idea of recreation is playing golf, going to the beach, or sitting on the couch reading, be sure to make it a priority in your life. Not only will you be happier in the immediate time, you are also likely increasing your life expectancy!

Prioritize responsibilities and obligations

Choose in a mindful manner what you want to be involved in and what you don’t. Ask yourself what each thing gives you and what it takes from you. Only choose things that give more than they take. And then prioritize which to do first. You may not get to all of those responsibilities when you want to, and that’s OK. Because the truth is, if you are part of a busy family, there are likely literally not enough hours in the day to complete all of your responsibilities. I always try to remind myself of the saying that there’s time for my house to be perfectly clean, my laundry to be done timely, and my life to be orderly and organized once my kids are grown. In the meantime, I’ll do the best I can and let go of the rest.

Kids don’t need to be involved in EVERYTHING

There are so many options of things for kids to be involved in. And it’s easy to look around and realize that your children are overbooked. I try to keep a general rule in our household that kids need to be involved in no more than two things at once. Taking a regular assessment of everyone’s schedules and being sure that self-care is happening and that everyone has some balance in their lives is important. When you find things imbalanced, assess what can be done about it. And remember, your kid doesn’t have to do everything offered for you to be a good parent; it is OK to say NO!

Rochelle Whitson is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice in Temecula, CA.

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Ms. Whitson can be reached by email at meetme4therapy@gmail.com.