THERAPIST THURSDAY: Managing FEAR During Coronavirus

Whether it be fear of contracting the virus or dying, fear of job loss or economic issues, fear of how and when society will open back up, fear of how you will manage if this continues, or any other worry or fear, the truth is… we’re all feeling a little (or a lot) uneasy these days.

Here are some tips for managing fear:

Focus on What You Can Control

While there is so much outside of our control these days, there are still things you have control over. The flow of your day, how you treat others, what you will do with your time, and if you use this as an opportunity to better yourself are all things you DO have control over. By bettering yourself, I mean doing activities like working out, reading a new book, starting a new hobby, learn how to manage money or time better, deciding to learn a foreign language, or any of many other projects one could take on during this time.

Let Go of What You Can’t Control

If you find yourself worrying about things that are outside of your control, try to remind yourself that if you can not control it, spending your time worrying about it does no good. The truth is, much of what is going to happen will happen regardless of what we think or how we feel about it. And our worrying does nothing to change it. I realize this is easier said that done, for me as well at times. I’ve found myself up in the middle of the night several times with my mind racing with “what if” thoughts. Usually things that are completely irrational. During these times I’ve had to deal with the feelings first (discussed in the next point) and then remind myself that these issues are out of my control and refocus my energy on something I can actually do something about.

Acknowledge and Process Your Feelings

While we need to let go of what is outside of our control, it is also important to acknowledge and process the fear and anxiety that is brought up when we have thoughts about things outside of our control. Journaling can be very helpful for this. Write down how you’re feeling and why. Let yourself cry or be mad. Acknowledge all of the feelings and do not judge yourself for them. They cannot reduce in intensity until you deal with them. Talk to someone you trust. Let them know you are struggling. Let them know you have freak out moments. There’s a good chance they do as well, and letting them know about your struggles will get you the support you need and may also allow them to feel safe to share their challenges with you. We all need each other through this time more than ever! So, reach out and be real with how you’re feeling.

Take Things One Day at a Time

I know when I start wondering about what is going to happen next month or the next school year, or sometimes even next week, I can start to feel overwhelmed. The idea of how long this will go, what it may do to the economy, how in the world we can accomplish things like sending our kids back to school, it can be way too much to process. The other day I had to check into what our options are regarding getting refunds or delaying summer plans we had made before this happened, and I started to feel quite overwhelmed wondering what things would even look like in July when these plans were supposed to occur. I had to remind myself that the decisions didn’t need to be made today, that no one really knows what things will be like in July, and that it is going to be what it is going to be either way. If you find that thinking about the future makes you feel more fear, take a step back and decide that you will just take it one day at a time.

Remember That This is One Moment in Time

For many of us, this is the first time we have had to deal with something as globally challenging as this. So, I try to put it in perspective using a timeline. The truth is, humans have been through worse times and much more challenging situations. There have been times of war, times of completely economic depression, famine and plague. And guess what? Humans survive! Because at the core of who we are, we are survivors. So, while there may be much that is unknown, much that is unpredictable, and much that is out of our control, we are still safe, most of us are healthy, and together, we WILL get through this. It really is just one moment in time. Put against some of the other things humans have endured, this pales in comparison. So I say that remind ourselves that WE GOT THIS! We are strong. We are capable. We will endure. One day this shelter in place will be a distant memory. But we will all be stronger because of it!

It’s OK to feel fear. It’s natural given the circumstances. Remember that you are not alone. Remember that this too shall pass. Remind yourself of your own strength. It will all be OK!

Rochelle Whitson is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in Temecula, CA. She can be reached by email at meetme4therapy@gmail.com.