Instead of blogging about the divorce process today, I wanted to share my professional experience in hopes to help those who wish to avoid getting divorced. This may be a refreshing topic to most readers because a lawyer’s role is typically to assist in dissolving the break-down of a marriage.
Not sure how other family law colleagues practice law, but whenever I have an initial consultation with a potential client, I like to know more about them than just the facts. From my inquiries of the client I have helped, I’ve discovered that majority of these divorces have nothing to do with abuse, drugs, alcohol or infidelity, it has to do with lack of communication.
We humans, are social beings. We have been placed on this earth to socialize with other people for the ultimate purpose of meeting a mate and having children. To engage someone, you first must communicate. When you begin dating, it starts with a greeting. Relationships develop due to common-shared ideas, goals and wants.
Unfortunately, once a couple has settled, communication begins to diminish. Why is that? Are we so used to the other person we feel we don’t have to talk to them anymore? Is it because we now have children and our priority is now geared to them, their wants and needs and whatever time is left over to our spouse? Or do we dread speaking to our spouses because we know the first thing that will come out of their mouths is complaints or problems of the day?
I recently saw a Dr. Phil episode where he gave a very useful tip to reignite communication. He said, that we should at least devote five to ten minutes of uninterrupted conversation a day and the focus should only be on the other person and how their day went. Anything about yourself, the kids or household problems should be put off until this exchange of conversation has taken place.
I have to admit it works and the more you try this the more you feel like you are investing in the growth of your relationship with your loved one. Mutual respect, validation and consideration begins to rekindle and grow, and the unity of the family blossoms.
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