To Adopt or Not Adopt?

Recently, me and my wife Amy have been giving more thought to the idea of adoption. Amy is fully onboard with this idea and is excited about it. Me on the other hand... I am not sure how to feel or how to process this decision.

Disclaimer first, we're not gonna be making this adoption decision tomorrow, or next week, or not even next year. I think the adoption decision is still a couple years down the line. At this point, we are just casually exploring the idea, not committing to anything. We submitted applications to a couple places , and will most likely be placed on a wait list. This wait list itself will take a couple years to get through.  So at this moment , we have not really done anything.

So where am I right now with this decision? I'm one of those people who do not like to deal in hypothetical and am a big fan not having to cross the bridge until we get to the water. So at this moment, i'm not really thinking about it. But what is going to happen when the time comes to cross that bridge and make a decision? I don't know.

So let's make a pros/cons list about adoption from my perspective.

CON : The financial investment and time commitment is ridiculous. It takes upward of 30K (maybe more) to adopt a kid from Taiwan. And it involves actually going to Taiwan at least twice (maybe more). This is not counting the lawyer, doctor, travel fees and time that will be required.

PRO : You avoid the traumatic birth experience. My brother spent a crazy 48+ labor when his first kid was born. I would not want Amy to have to go through that. Just as important, I do not want to go through that.

CON : You get the kid after s/he is more than a year old. I don't know much (or anything) about parenting, but the books I've read and people I've talked to say the first year is important for the mom and dad to bound with the kid. So if you take that away, who knows what will happen to the baby. Will s/he get separation anxiety? Will s/he not be able to adjust to the new parents? I don't know.

PRO : You get the kid after s/he is more than a year old. One more year of freedom to do whatever you want, travel as you please, sleep when you please, and not be ruled by a kid... Priceless!

CON : The families would freak out. Both of our families are old tradition and this would freak them out. Every time we drop the adoption idea, both sets of parents get nervous and hope we are not serious.

PRO : You get to help a child and contribute to society. And isn't this what adoption is all about? You get the change to change a life forever, but not only that, you get a chance to shape that person and help define who s/he becomes in society.

PRO : You'll always have a story to tell. Because adoption is such a counter-cultural thing to do, you'll always have a story to tell and share with the world. That's powerful.

CON : The process is a pain. Lawyers, travel, doctors... All people i hate dealing with.

Part of me want to be able to 100% embrace this idea and be excited about it. I've heard all the sermons and stories and have been told many times to adopting a baby is one of the most godly-like things you can do... but yet, i think of all the doubts I have, about what people will say (especially our families), all the things that can go wrong, the time and financial investment involved... it's a pretty scary thing for me to think about.

So as of now, i am content to let this just be an idea, a bridge that we will most likely have to either cross or not cross in the future. It's exciting, but it's also a scary bridge.