Is the Abedin/Weiner Marriage Normal?

According to Huma Abedin, in a magazine interview not so long ago, she wanted people to know they’re a normal family.

 Last week, New York mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner admitted to sending sex texts to several women over the Internet two years after a similar scandal resulted in him resigning from Congress. Then he handed the microphone to his wife, who said: “It took a lot of work and a whole lot of therapy … but I made the decision to stay in this marriage.” 

Who isn’t wondering, what motivates the betrayed wife, disgraced and humiliated, to stand by her man?

Perhaps it’s a function of an identity derived from Weiner’s status. If running for mayor was a joint decision and Huma is a partner in the campaign, they need to remain publicly a pair. Here the implied message is, if she has forgiven him so should the voters.

Or it may be an effort in support of her personal aspirations. Although Huma hasn’t yet revealed political ambitions, it’s possible she’s following the lead of Hillary Clinton, her mentor who stayed after her husband’s sex scandal.

It could also be plain love and a shared history. If Huma values being a good parent and keeping the family together, divorce would be a stigma. It may not be in the best interests of her son. At 18 months, he’s too young to feel the impact of the scandal now, but he will before long.

Clearly Weiner’s treatment did not get to the core of his addiction or pathology. From the outside, it looks like her support only sanctions his sense of entitlement, dark side and incredibly poor judgment. But it ‘s not easy to face ourselves and give up when we’ve invested so much.

Huma has made it clear their marriage is no one else’s business.

We all deserve a second chance, but a third? A lot of people respect Huma and feel bad. Others see her as smart, savvy, competent - and that may be why they’re judging her. We can’t tell anyone else how to live. But if they do stay together, they have a long road ahead.