After Bisexual Parade Passes By: The A,B,C's of Pride in WEHO

I had been driving out of West Hollywood on Santa Monica Boulevard when a spirited group of people passed by on the sidewalk in the opposite direction. I recalled hearing mention of a Bi-Sexual Pride Day co-sponsored by the City, and at a red light, I got out of my car to take a photo, and what happens in the movie "Blow-up," one of the most heralded mystery thrillers of all time, is a plot twist, that happened to me as a twofer, after later studying the photo, what seemed conspicuously missing triggered a momentary fit of consternation...as there was no visible way of knowing who these people were.

It's taken a long time for LGBTQ rights to have emerged in its current status and only after so much hardship, violence, physical and emotional abuse, suffered by so many people through decades of bigotry... it was hard to reconcile this was forward motion, as an absence of pride of ownership of whom they were, as part of a coalition that prides itself... at the very least, in Herculean effort and generosity of spirit...and on a self-proclaimed day of "visibility," after so many organizations made best efforts to respond to Bi-cries of feeling diminished, not just in the world at large, but as the "B" word in LGBTQ, I was prompted to wonder, " To B or not to B... part of a coalition of groups linked by comparable struggle and emancipation. I determined I would be unworthy of membership, if I was so much of a coward, I'd backpedal my way to a bygone world of an overabundance of sissies and dodgeball courts...way before the invention of the GPS or any model of electric scooter... no way, Jose, Sir, not me, so here goes:

"What's a guy got to do to learn the ABC's of bi-sexual bigotry...without feeling like a dummy?"

Just the day before the parade had passed me by, I had introduced myself to James Duke Mason, who attended the WEHO READS event that honored Lorna Luft, thanks to her introduction of him in the audience, as the grandson of her mother's co-star in "A Star is Born," among many other classic films. This had preceded the lovely and authentic way in which she had expressed her continued connection to West Hollywood and the LGBTQ community, at large, when she shared an anecdote about "the talk" that had arrived pre-maturely soon, due to an event, that compelled her and her husband to relay the facts of life to their young son...the rite of passage moment so many parents manage to avoid...she recalled how nervous she had been, but had finally ramped up the courage to tell her son about the B's and the birds of different feathers..."You mean all the people who have been our friends and family forever, mom?" He said in that, non-Judy specific nor LGBTQ way, to cut her off, with the dismissive bravado of a pre-teen of any variety, when for them, what's at stake, is the perception of their ability to handle a situation...not like a baby, but an alert parent or teacher doesn't make assumptions, based on what may seem obvious to others, and how would anyone know for certain, if there had been a previous encounter, when some drag incarnation of Judy Garland had caused a family member to act out big time...either because it had been a hack job or way too good.

On behalf of Johnny come lately's, who, for whatever reasons, are not at the head of the class in Sociology, I have assigned myself the position of good will ambassador, in search of knowledge about Bi-sexual Bigotry, with these questions:

Is there a strategy to standing up and being counted without any visible way of being identified as whom you are...especially when part of your own, well reasoned and distributed agenda, had included: "Visibility Walk" or had this been an oversight?

Why brand your own flag and colors, with no visible connection to the Rainbow Flag that is the all encompassing banner of LGBTQ coalition? The history of how the Rainbow Flag had been created, has a parallel narrative to the fabled origin of the Stars & Stripes...as an encounter between General Washington & Betsy Ross, that actually was posthumously manufactured by her nephew, but exists as a close approximation to the truth of the Civil Rights banner, honored as part of the permanent collection of NY's Museum of Modern Art, when Harvey Milk made a suggestion to Gilbert Baker, who had been an acquaintance- an ex-Marine who moved from Kansas to San Francisco, and earned a living fashioning clothes for transvestites. Milk told Baker there needed to be a new symbol of freedom as a counterpart of the retrofitted badge of dishonor, the inverted pink triangle created by the Third Reich in tandem with the yellow star of David, Jews had been compelled to wear.

I neither dispute the rights of Bi-sexuals nor do I challenge their place as full fledged members of LGBTQ, but statistics that indicate more people, men and women identify as bi than as gay and lesbian, seem somewhat specious...as part of an overriding impression, if not also, as misperception, that some bi-sexuals live undercover intentionally, out of convenience, and, perhaps, even subterfuge.

One of the leading bi-sexual organizations in L.A. County states this on its website:

“Short of carrying bi flags around all day, to be visibly bi we’d have to walk hand in hand with at least two people who aren’t the same sex.”

In my self-admitted status as lacking enough awareness, this makes me more confused, as it seems to suggest bi-sexuals travel as units of "thruples," in contrast to what I know, and also, what very well may be a longstanding mistaken belief that bi-sexual singles are the envy of most people in the dating world...with more choices, split between genders...that seems to give everyone else better odds of finding romance.

In a small world made smaller for those of us who have been marginalized more than others, it just so happens, James Duke Mason is on the Weho Lesbian and Gay Advisory Board, a discovery I made via a tweet he published, in which he says, he's been working for at least a couple of years, "on increasing bisexual visibility in our community." I assume there are many complexities to the plight of Bi-Sexuals, not easily understood by me and others, inside and outside the LGBTQ community, and since there's no reference to "Bi-Sexual" in his self-titled advisory capacity, I am instilled with confidence he is hard at work making himself and others better known and understood. This conviction is not unfounded on my part, but based on two revealing clues ... the implicit thumbs up, from Lorna Luft and the response he had given me, when I asked if the friend accompanying him was his "significant other." There was no trace of even a momentary pause, an automatic reflex for so many gay and straight men, when given the opportunity to claim a trophy based on good looks. Mason sounded matter of fact when saying "just a friend" ...with no perceptible downgrade of intonation.

This species of genus in the family of LGBTQ is so intriguing...whatever is within my capacity to better understand bisexuality, I yearn to learn more...with all due respect and forgiveness to my flaws of being human.