Lady Gaga Sings National Anthem at Super Bowl 50

Lady Gaga Sings National Anthem at Super Bowl 50: People are praising Lady Gaga’s singing of the national anthem at the Super Bowl this year, which was followed by Beyonce, Coldplay and Bruno Mars performing at halftime. Wow, that was quite a musical lineup. Now, if they could have just gotten Adele to call a few plays, the evening would have been complete.

BMW Experimenting With Laser Headlights: BMW is experimenting with laser headlights that they say are 1,000 times brighter than conventional headlights. Researchers say the new technology has two distinct advantages a) you’ll be able to see the road much better and b) you can immediately vaporize anyone who tries to cut you off.

Climate Scientists Say Gigantic Ice Sheets Melting: Climate scientists say that the dramatic melting of the gigantic ice sheets could result in a sea level that could likely rise up by as much as five feet by the year 2100. On the other hand, its comforting to know that if all that ice does melt, the oceans will rise to the occasion.

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Tourist Catches Child Who Fell From 4th Floor Balcony: A quick-thinking English tourist caught a two year old girl as she feel from a fourth-floor Orlando hotel balcony. Police say that sadly, surveillance videos show she actually stepped out of bounds just before the child fell into her arms and therefore the catch must be ruled as incomplete.

Teens Having Oral Sex Before Vaginal Intercourse: According to research by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, most teens are having oral sex long before they are having vaginal intercourse. And is it any wonder when you consider how much educators have always encouraged students to develop their oral skills?

Study Claims Newspaper Readers Retain More Information: A recent French study took a look at reading patterns and concluded that newspaper readers were more likely to retain information than iPad readers. Unfortunately, this information won’t do me much good because I read this story on an iPad.

Women Talk Three Times More Than Men: A new study found that women talk nearly three times as much as men on average. No kidding! I once went out with a woman who could really talk up a storm. In her defense, she was a meteorologist, so I guess that was kind of her job.

Ted Cruz Super PAC Misspells Country in Banner Ad: A banner ad by the Ted Cruz super PAC “Courageous Conservatives” had to be taken down after it was discovered that the word “country” had been spelled “Counrty.” Guess that must be the Canadian spelling, but no big deal, its highly unlikely any Cruz supporters would ever recognize a misspelled word anyway. Besides, the science is still out on spelling. Embarrassed campaign staffers say they would have spelled it differently, but “Cuntry” was already being used by Donald Trump.

Costa Rica Bans Shark Finning: Costa Rica President Luis Guillermo Solís has just signed an executive order banning “shark finning” in the Central American nation’s coastal waters, closing loopholes in an existing law. In return, the sharks have agreed to eat significantly less surfers in the coming year.

Punxsutawney Phil Predicts Early Spring: The handlers of one of Pennsylvania’s most famous citizens, Punxsutawney Phil, report that the groundhog failed to see his shadow, which by tradition means we’ll have an early spring. In related news, Donald Trump got off the plane in New Hampshire, saw his shadow, which generally means we’re in for at least 6 more weeks of BS.

Scottish Tourist Gored by Thai Elephant: Thai authorities say a Scottish tourist has been gored to death by an elephant that he was riding on the resort island of Samui. When pressed for more details, Thai police would only say that the elephant “kilt” the unfortunate Scot.

New Bacterial Glue for Concrete Structures: Researchers sat they have developed a bacteria that produce a kind of glue that can fill in the cracks in concrete structures. Let’s just hope it works as planned. It’d be a shame if we ended up having to put all our concrete structures on antibiotics.

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Zika Can Be Passed on Through Sex: Texas health officials have confirmed the first known case of the Zika virus being passed on through sex. On a positive note, this means that me and most of my friends are completely safe.

Kate Winslet Admits Rose Could Have Saved Jack in Titanic: In a recent appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Kate Winslet admitted that, like most of us, she thought Rose could have saved poor Jack ((Leonardo DiCaprio) from his icy fate at the end of the movie Titanic. In response, House Republicans announced they will immediately be opening hearings to investigate whether any criminal charges should be forthcoming.

Man Dies at 107 Thanking Red Wine For Long Life: A 107-year-old man who recently died in north-western Spain, attributed the fact that he had such a long life to red wine. Yet another example of “better red than dead.