Arts & Entertainment
Snuggling With Backyard Chickens Blamed for Salmonella Outbreaks
A satirical look at current events!
Snuggling With Backyard Chickens Blamed for Salmonella Outbreaks: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is blaming eight salmonella outbreaks this year which has so far sickened 370 people in 47 states on people kissing and snuggling with their backyard chickens.
Personally, I never realized this was even a problem. You could have knocked me over with a feather. I mean, who would want to snuggle up to a chicken? You’d have to be a real dumb cluck to try a stunt like that. After all, they don’t call them “foul” for nothing. Personally, I find it hard to believe anyone would kiss or hug a chicken unless someone had been egging them on.
Meanwhile, the CDC is urging anyone who feels an uncontrollable desire to snuggle with their chickens, to consider sexting them instead. Of course, there’s always gonna be some smart ass in the crowd who says “but chickens don’t have smartphones.” True, but chickens don’t really have lips either - ya dumbbell! That said, there’s always gonna be those people who say that despite the risks, kissing a chicken is still far less dangerous than kissing Lindsay Lohan. As for me, I can’t imagine ever kissing a chicken, no matter how damn pretty it is.
