The Menace Of Bullying: What CT Parents Are Saying

CONNECTICUT — An informal survey of Patch readers in Connecticut shows great concern among parents about the extent and severity of bullying their children experience in school and online. Almost nine in 10 parents said their child had been bullied at least once, and half said the bullying had occurred frequently.

Parents left little doubt as to the consequences of unchecked bullying, saying their children dread going to school and their grades have suffered, that they have been forced to change schools, that they have been physically harmed or suffered from low self-esteem, anxiety and depression. Some parents said they knew of bullied children who had committed suicide.

As one Connecticut parent wrote, in a comment typical of those answering the survey:

“it’s had lasting effects on my son. He doesn’t trust any of his male peers, is afraid to even approach them, and he won’t participate in any social event where they may be present, which is most.”

And as another parent wrote about a daughter:

“She cried every day her entire school career. She went to a private (counselor) and still has no self-esteem. She was a happy little girl until the bullying began in second grade.”

And while most parents said school officials in their communities have adopted policies intended to curb or stop bullying, many believe those policies are poorly enforced -- if they are enforced at all. Parents used terms like “ineffective,” “inadequate” and “a joke” to describe them.

Patch has undertaken extensive coverage of the bullying issue in The Menace of Bullying: A Patch Advocacy Reporting Project.

The regional parent survey, timed to coincide with National Bullying Prevention Month in October, was posted on 76 Patch sites in Connecticut. The survey is not scientific, but could be considered a broad indicator of parents’ feelings about the seriousness of bullying in their schools and communities.

Take the Patch bullying survey.

As of Tuesday, Oct. 15, more than 330 parents has responded to the Patch survey. The key findings were:

• Eighty-eight percent of parents said their children had been bullied at least once, and half -- 50.9 percent -- said bullying had been frequent. Only 12 percent said their children had never been bullied.

• Bullying took many forms, from teasing and name-calling to exclusion from groups to physical harm such as punching or kicking. Almost 30 percent of respondents said their children had experienced some sort of physical harm.

These informal findings should be compared to statistics compiled in more scientific surveys, which note that:

• Bullying affects 1 in 3 U.S. schoolchildren (NoBully.org)
• 59 percent of U.S. students experience cyberbullying (Pew Research Center)
• 160,000 kids stay home from school every day to avoid bullies (National Association of School Psychologists)

To comment on this story, email bullying@patch.com. And to learn more about bullying prevention, visit Patch partner NoBully.org.

• 5 Things Students Can Do To Prevent Bullying
• School Shootings: Eradicating Bullying Must Be Part Of Safety Plan
• Eradicating Bullying: Progress On Creating Bully-Free Environment
• Is Screen Time Hurting My Child?
• Preschool Children: Online And Dangerous
• What Every Young Child Needs To Know About Being Online
• Patch Partners With No Bully To Help Eradicate Bullying
• Meet 14-Year-Old CEO On Mission To Spread Kindness, Stop Bullying
• Meet Talen And Cooper, 2 Upstanders Demonstrating Kindness
• Cyberbullying Is Now A Crime In Michigan: Is Criminalizing A Good Idea?
• Hitting A Homerun With Kindness With The Phillies

From the experts

• 'The Anti-Bully': Talk And, Especially, Listen To Your Kids
• The Bully Menace: Patch Experts Offer Tips To Parents
• Anti-Bully Experts Offer Tips On Sometimes Deadly Encounters
• Understanding The Bully: They're Often Victims, Too, Experts Say