Behind the Pink Ribbons: Close Encounters With The 'C' Word

Editor’s note: October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and Patch is sharing inspirational stories of breast cancer survivors to help raise awareness for early detection. Would you like to share your story? Email wendy.mitchell@patch.com.

Written By Judith Joiner

It was a beautiful sunny winter day. I took the backroads through Fairfield County to my appointment. I’d felt a tiny hard lump, like a BB, under my right arm in the shower, and they wanted a biopsy. I don’t remember feeling scared.

A few days later when I got the call, I did. My surgeon, a tall steely-haired woman, wanted to meet me in her office. I asked her to tell me now, and sat down. Sure enough, it was cancer. When I heard the word, my heart stopped. My head went to all those places, including certain death.

My next thought was, “Me? I’m a vegetarian organic-eating healthy athletic walking machine!”

I learned my first and maybe most important lesson on that phone call. My kindly drill sergeant of a surgeon walked me through all the possibilities and all the steps we would need to take; blood tests to see if the cancer had spread, a lumpectomy, sentinel lymph node surgery. The team we would pull together, with the oncologist and radiation oncologist. I got a notebook, wrote everything down, and decided to focus on the steps instead of the fear.

Like too many of us, I didn’t do regular breast examinations, though I did go regularly to my gynecologist and get annual mammograms. A recent mammogram had not picked up this lump. I was very fortunate. I had stage 1 of the most common form of breast cancer.

Looking back, I’d known very few women who had breast cancer. I didn’t realize how common, nor how curable, in a vast majority of cases, it is.

The next few weeks were a whirlwind of appointments. You become part of the medical infrastructure; in and out of the hospital. I told very few people at first. Oddly, when people responded with “I’m sorry,” it didn’t feel good...I guess I felt more isolated and condemned. The best responses were when friends said “DAMN!!” -- or worse! It made me feel like I had a partner in the trenches.

One by one, the tests came out positive. I began to feel hopeful. Next was the surgery. The lumpectomy went smoothly. Then sentinel node surgery, done to see if the cancer has spread to my lymphatic system. That went well too.

The next hurdle was radiation. This terrified me also and I resisted. I brought my radiation oncologist a long list of questions, which she patiently answered. The night before I was to begin, I came across an interview with Sheryl Crow who had recently gone through radiation. It gave me courage. Once I began, it went fine. I was grateful for Danbury Hospital’s modern radiation equipment and wonderful staff.

Radiation usually is five days a week for six weeks. However, it’s only a minute or two each day. There is a risk of burning, so it’s important to slather on the ointment they give you.

Lastly was the oncologist. He was a sweet handsome man who said we’d spend our lives together. Sadly, he moved away last year! I was very lucky not to need chemotherapy, but I was supposed to start taking Tamoxifen, a pill to take everyday for five years, that is actually a very mild form of chemo. Resistance again-- I rarely even took aspirin! A wise friend recommended I research the odds and do the math. I went with the program. Again I was fortunate, I had no side effects. I’ve neared the end of five years, and new research is showing the benefits of an additional five years on the drug.

Things I learned:
Don’t focus on the fear. Focus on the steps you need to take. Do them.

Ask questions, lots and lots of questions. Even the best-meaning doctors and nurses don’t think to tell you everything.

They usually don’t know what caused your cancer. It’s a surprisingly mysterious disease even today.

Lots and lots of people get cancer, especially women and breast cancer. It’s not your fault. There’s nothing shameful about it. And you are allowed to react any way you choose, from extremely private, to publicly blogging about it.

Don’t wait. Do your own exams, get the mammograms and tests recommended. If you feel or sense anything, don’t wait a minute. Time is not on our side when it comes to cancer.

Cancer is curable.

Support group:

Early on, I went to support groups at Ann’s Place. It’s a beautiful organization to support people dealing with cancer and their families and loved ones. They give all kinds of help from psychological therapy to art and yoga classes. I learned a lot in the group, including how truly fortunate I was, as many of the other women had to go through chemotherapy and/or mastectomy. There were times I even felt slightly guilty, as odd as that sounds. There were also two deaths among my group, both women who had more rare or advanced stages of cancer. One was a vibrant mom with three children, another a beautiful young fashion designer. My heart broke in each case. The community pulled together in comfort. Sometimes, it’s just hard.