Putting an End to Bullying in Schools

Across the country, bullying has become a prominent topic in many school districts, especially with the emergence of cyber bullying.

To learn more about mean behavior and its effects on students, members of Bethel's Bullying Task Force brought Kelly Mullins of the Women's Center of Greater Danbury and the acting troupe Act Out to educate parents and teachers on Wednesday night.

Mullins said while the Women's Center primarily deals with domestic violence, bullying has become a worrisome issue as many "bullies left uncorrected, have violent relationship issues" later in life.  

"We've (parents and students) got to be on the same page when it comes to bullying; our kids are really in trouble," Mullins said. "I'm really angry that this is happening and it has to stop."

She explained that bullying can come in many forms, including physical, verbal, silent, cyber and relational, which can mean a hostile relationship between friends.

"Relational is the big one...it's as damaging as physical bullying," Mullins said.

While any mean behavior is a problem in schools, Mullins said it is important for parents to understand that not all conflict is considered bullying.

She said: "Bullying involves an imbalance of power. Kids in conflict means there's empathy in there somewhere...90 percent of the time kids will resolve conflict on their own." 

When it comes to bullying, "power" can mean status, popularity, style, physical appearance and many other factors that affect the social hierarchy.

According to Mullins, even in the strongest parent/child relationships, bullied kids won't tell their parents about their situation because they fear they will be ashamed, embarrassed or will worry about them.

In their skit, members of Act Out gave examples of young students cyber bullying, spreading rumors, isolating, not standing up for others, peer pressure and sexual harassment. 

One member of the group, WCSU student Kyle Pappalo spoke about being bullied in school about his sexual orietation. 

"Talk to your kids," Pappalo said as his advice for parents. "Let them know you'll be there for them no matter who they are."

Mullins added that concerned parents should look for drastic changes in their children, such as despression and not wanting to go to school, if they believe they are being bullied.

To overcome bullying or to avoid it, she suggested that parents do more than say "just ignore it" and build self esteem in their children, teach them social skills and practice role playing. Parents should also try weaving news stories and media about bullying into conversation, instead of addressing the issue in full force.

Dr. Janice Jordan, Bethel's associate superintendent, said Mullins and Act Out were invited to speak to parents not only to educate, but to show that Bethel schools take the issue seriously and plan to follow new state laws about bullying. 

"...We will carefully address this issue," Jordan said. "We knew these laws were coming and that they are aggressive ones. Parents should expect more e-mails and information about it in the future."