The importance of relationships

by Carol Dores

We each know how good we feel when we spend time with people that we have things in common with. The warmth we get inside from a warm greeting, a smile, a hug. We know how good it feels to be able to share things with others, both good and bad, and know they understand. When we are hurting, it is wonderful to have someone reach out to have a cup of coffee or lunch. And when we know someone is feeling badly, to do the same for them.

As we think about the children in our lives, do they have these kinds of relationships? Research shows that children who have at least one positive relationship with an adult are less likely to do risky things (smoke, drink, take drugs). According to Dr. Bruce Perry, the biology of the brain shows that these connections also protect during duress, and help heal after duress. Can you be that important person in a child’s life?

What does it take to have a good relationship with a child?

· Have mutual respect

· Listen to them first

· Validate their feelings

· Be at their level and look at each other in the eyes when talking

· Help them see mistakes as opportunities to learn

· Encourage them, rather than giving praise

· Ask them questions, rather than telling them invites them to think and choose

· Have fun together

Who made a difference in your life?

Want to learn more about how to help developing stronger relationships with the children in your life? We’ve recently added more classes! Visit www.positivedisciplinect.org.

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