Elderly and the Holidays

It's the time of year when we actually make time in our lives to see our extended family, often that includes parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. that are not in our daily lives. 

It's that time we suddenly notice the year's have taken their toll and our loved one has changed.Sometimes the awareness is subtle when we notice they've forgotten a name or two.  

Often it is repeated sentences that are cycled and recycled, hoarding, improper dressing for the weather outside or company in the home that grabs our attention - somethings not right - you are just trying to put your finger on it.  Then it hits you, it just could be dementia, Alzheimer's....oh no, it couldn't be.

The other villain you may see is the loss of mobility.  Your loved one appears more fragile, but they can still do things on their own, but are slower, less upright, less confident in their motion.  Your view of their ability to live independently is changing, and you are concerned for their safety.In checking the refrigerator you may find items out of date...or a kitchen in disarray - things stored in unusual places. 

We one had a lady who was using Crisco to do her laundry...once you get through the humor of it, it can be a scary thing - to realize: 

1) You now are a more responsible person than that someone who raised you and took care of you.

2) Concern for the future - not only how it affects them, how will it affect you both financially and time-wise?Selfish questions?  Or a reality check??  With 1 in 8 persons being diagnosed with dementia that equates to 12% of the population.  You can't let them drive, they often don't know where they are going.  You can't let them cook, they've forgotten how - or only remember partial recipes, leaving out key ingredients...etc etc.Memory Issues -What to do?

1. Safety check the home- many times that can mean disabling the stove and their car, it's for their own good.  Tell them whatever you have to, but keep it simple.

2. Get their medication in order and in a locked box with someone who can be entrusted with a key to distribute and confirm medication compliance.

3. Develop a routine of friends, neighbors, family or an outside caregiver's service to oversee the day to day for them.  Often a mix of this can give both safety oversight as well as companionship for them. 

Meals will be routinely taken and monitored that they are eaten and with medication in check, your loved one has a chance to a good quality life for whatever time there is for them.  And, often it's years and years.

So enjoy your Holiday with your family, and keep a watchful eye out for the devil that robs you of your innocence that aging is painless, emotionally and physically. Be in the moment and enjoy the moments you have with your family, for every year may not be the same going forward in time...make your precious memories last!