On the Matter of Moments

As I lie here enjoying a gorgeous summer day in the suburbs, my mind drifts to those not-so-wonderful days – those moments in life that we remember until our last. And though one is just as relevant to people as another, there are always different degrees of impact. How we handle these crises that punctuate our lives is determined by the strength we find within us.

My moments in life that come to mind are 9-11, July 23, 2007 (Petit home invasion) and April 2, 2005 (Pope John Paul died).

On 9-11, I remember sitting at the gas station off 84 East, on my way to UConn – Storrs. As they spoke of one tower being hit and then the next, I thought it was a radio’s bad joke. Some weird, sadistic prank they were playing on the public. Then other patrons began discussing the situation and I realized it was real. Hurrying off to school to tell my professors and friends that I could not stay for my scheduled day, all I could think of was where my son was. It didn’t dawn on me at the moment that he had no reason to be in New York that day. I just needed to see him or hear his voice.

Reaching Cheshire and driving down Route 10, I cried as the news poured
in about the tragic events.

We all feel for those affected and wish we could help. Yet, it’s one of those things that happened and we as a people have to find a way to go on.

On July 23, 2007, I was headed to New Haven on a train from my work in Stamford. Just having interviewed earlier for another job, my spirits were up. That is until I heard the news.

“There was a deadly home invasion off Higgins Road…I don’t know where. The roads are blocked off,” my friend Laurie said.

Later as I walked in my house, locked the door, propped a chair up against the front and back doors and checked the windows, I went straight to turn on the news and listened as they pieced together the story.

We all know how it goes, so no need to rehash the details. Needless to say, we here in Cheshire are not over it; we will never be over it. And I cannot begin to understand what the Petit family has gone and is going through. But for me, I felt as if my security was threatened.

Always feeling fairly safe in this town, this event was unsettling to me in ways that
have changed my permanent outlook of the human condition.

And now as I say my prayers at night, I add Dr. Petit and his family. Crimes like these are senseless. We can never fully understand why people do such things. All we can do is continue to work as a community and pray that people grow.

As for me, I no longer need chairs up against my doors, but I do have a golf club close by.

Lastly, I remember the moment I heard of Pope John Paul’s death on April 2, 2005. It was at 3:15 pm. I heard it on 99.9 FM. “The Pope has died,” and they continue on with the normal playlist as if nothing has changed. I cried. And I cried. It rained. And it rained. The day before a weatherman had said that it would be the worst rain we have had in 20 years. I stared blank. I went numb. I was lost.

Hope died; a man full of nothing but love; a man who cared about nothing but others. My mind was barely able to think. My hands barely moved. Yet, I was driving down Route 68 in Cheshire. I was unaware of my surroundings. I felt as if my heart stopped.

I will go on. We will go on. Life shows us many challenges to overcome. And I believe that together we can. And I cannot explain why I reacted to one situation differently than another. As they came, I dealt with them the best I could and tried to stay aware of others around me.

These things can be discouraging and overwhelming. We need to be more mindful of what’s really important in life. So what is important? I don’t want to choose for anyone but myself. But as I share, I hope to enlighten and help people come to realizations.

I remember my mother always preached about learning from past events. To this day, I haven’t found my lesson from these events, but that doesn’t mean my mom was wrong. And, though there is no lesson in hand, I’m still here trudging along.

As the German writer Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, "Life belongs to the
living, and he who lives must be prepared for changes."