Reflections in Danbury Hospital

Coming to you from my room on the 11^th floor of the Danbury Hospital.

I’ve been here since Saturday. What was supposed to be a three-hour tour in the emergency room has turned into three-plus thought-provoking days.

They say I’ll go home soon, so I’ll be keeping with that positive thought.

When I introduced myself to you several weeks ago, I wrote I was a 55-year-old, divorced male living in Ridgefield and would write what I know about, feel and think of.

Well, what I am feeling today, and definitely know of, is confusion, fear and resolve.

Any time you go to the hospital there’s cause for concern, wonder and a little fear, but when you’re in a room for three days there is plenty of time to think. It is how you train your chain of thought that’s important.

The people at Danbury Hospital are great making me feel comfortable and safe, and have kept me informed about what is going on. There’s no wonder from that end. That fear is gone.

But that doesn’t keep the mind from racing and the fight to keep it occupied.

It didn’t take long to figure out daytime television is a vast wasteland, although it was good to hear again the opening theme music to ``Bonanza,’’ which was one of the classics.

Also, after watching the Mets, they are still a team in trouble. However, this year they might have the Yankees beat for the off-the-field drama. I do need to get back to the ballpark again soon.

I started a good book, ``Defiant Courage,’’ the true, riveting story of Jan Baalsrud, a Norwegian underground fighter’s desperate escape from the Gestapo. What he and thousands of other resistance fighters went through and endured is inspiring. Makes some things trivial by comparison.

My mind sometimes works like a channel surfer’s remote, flashing from thought to thought, question to question. It’s frustrating when it doesn’t stay on one topic for too long, and even more so when I can’t come up with the answers I need.

I started to make lists, and soon my lists had lists. Seeing things add up can be overwhelming, but at the same time the exercise can be clarifying.

Over the past three days I made a list of things I am grateful for, of what I want to achieve, of stories I want to write for Patch, and a schedule of going about doing them.

 I’m fine and it was a wake-up call that I need to take better care of myself. Some people come to the hospital and don’t get to leave. I’ll be home shortly.

One thing I learned is I need to put the dishes in the washer before leaving the house. There’s also filing that needs to be done and provisions to be made. It was unnerving to think of something happening and not being prepared.

Once again, a wake-up call.

On the positive, I’m grateful there are people in my life I could trust with my house key even if they saw a sink full of dishes.