This is going to be a bit of a rant. I figured I would get it out of my system before the new year is upon us with resolutions to be kinder, nicer and more understanding. It's kind of like when you go on a junk food binge before starting a diet.
I am a dinosaur of sorts. I actually listen to commercial radio in the car. Not talk radio because I would have an aneurysm at the stupidity voiced on most radio talk shows. Not satellite radio because I refuse to pay for that which should be free. No, I listen to music. My car radio has 18 presets and every one is programmed so I switch with some regularity between adult contemporary, big band, country, NPR, pop music, classic rock and alternative rock among others. I listen to a station that comes from Berlin High School, an AM station that comes from Toronto once the sun goes down, the Catholic radio station and various college stations. At some point during the day I hit just about every genre there is.
One thing all the stations have in common is radio announcers. Some are local, some syndicated, but the one thing they all have in common is they talk for a living. Sounds pretty simple, right? Apparently not. I sometimes listen and wonder if English is in fact their first language. A few months ago I listened to a news report in which the news reader three times referred to a suspect being "arranged" in court. Now I have done some flower and furniture arranging in my time and that is quite different from being arraigned in court. One would think someone at the station would have taken this young man aside after his news report and corrected him, but no, he was back the next hour with a variation on the story in which he was still "arranging" the suspect. That made me wonder if his bosses even listen to their own station.
I grew up in a home where music was playing constantly. In fact my mother once commented that she would like to come home from work just once and find fewer than four different stereos playing four different pieces of music.
I tell you that so you understand that I was exposed to a lot of different kinds of music growing up. I am willing to concede that perhaps my musical knowledge is above average in spite of my absolute lack of musical talent.
I do not claim to be an expert, but I find myself aghast at the lack of musical knowledge on the part of some radio announcers. They don't need to be experts, but you can't blame me for thinking that perhaps they should at least be conversant with the genre on which their livelihood depends. Apparently I am mistaken in this opinion. I could list dozens of announcing gaffes that have made me cringe, but let me just share with you my top three.
1)One Saturday afternoon I was listening to a program on the music of Cole Porter. The announcer let us know he would be right back after we listened to "Stephanie Grappelli sing" a song in the Porter oeuvre. That might have been a pleasant musical interlude except STEPHANE GRAPPELLI is a French jazz violinist. He wasn't about to "sing" anything.
2) Just the other day an announcer was attempting to pronounce TEX BENEKE's name. He stumbled for a couple of seconds and then apparently decided no one would notice if he made the saxophonist and bandleader a relative of Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke. He obviously knew he didn't know how to pronounce Beneke's name, but did he try to find out how to pronounce it while the music played? No, he came back after the song ended and once again informed us the song was by Tex BERNANKE and his band.
3) The most recent example and one I am still shaking my head over just happened over the weekend when I heard an announcer refer to reggae music as REGGIE MUSIC. Please visualize a pained looked on my face.
In 1697 William Congreve wrote that "Music hath charms to sooth a savage breast". Language is its own kind of music. Mispronunciation and misuse is like a pianist hitting the wrong key on the piano. It is jarring and discordant and soothes nothing. I begin to wonder if "Roll Over Beethoven" was less about the advent of rock and roll and more about Ludwig's spinning in his grave at hearing a disc jockey mutilate the title of a piece.
My New Year wishes for these unfortunate announcers are small audiences so they are not embarrassed on such a large scale, dictionaries, pronunciation guides and introductory courses in music appreciation.
