My husband and I looked at each other in exasperation: we were tired of “being the bad guy”. My unspoken plea was, “It is your turn to choose who to discipline”. However, in truth, all three of our children had taken to saying hurtful words to each other. We had tried numerous punishments including time out and losing privileges, but someone was always willing to “risk it all” to instigate the other one. We also initiated a “Catch Them Being Good Jar”. Anyone could write or tell of a time when someone was speaking nicely and then a slip of paper was added to the jar. All of these were read at the end of the week. Although all of these methods were admirable the problem still existed. In the end my husband and I realized that we needed to monitor more closely not only the tone we used with our children but also with each other. Changing our behavior needed to come first. After that we could truly make an impact in the behavior of our children. Our methods were admirable just our focus needed to be redirected initially.
These “Aha” moments come from time to time in parenting. As I am new to “blogging”, I am intrigued by the way that social media can be harnessed as a means for a new support system for parents: a support system that is slipping away. In the past parents would have access to their extended family (parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and other family members) to help in providing advice (both wanted and unwanted) and actual physical aid or presence in the raising of the children. In addition, we often lived in neighborhoods where we knew our neighbors not just on a first-name basis, but also well enough for them to be a part of our lives. We could really talk and share our trials and successes in our lives particularly when it came to our children. I am not romanticizing the past, but I am looking at the fact that we have disconnected to some extent due to our working conditions, technology, and our pace of life. In return, it is possible that our parenting may suffer from a slowly deteriorating support system that has been around for generations.
However, as a parent of four children (ages 20, 8, 6, and newborn) I do know that it is possible and important to make connections. I would like to suggest that this blog can be a place where parents can come alongside each other and provide support and information. As an educator and small business owner I understand the importance of parents being able to have a safe place to ask questions, provide solutions and be honest. This blog does not take the place of personal friendships that are critical for parents. Yet for those who feel isolated or unsure of where to begin to ask their questions, it can be a place to start to know that you are not alone.
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As I share what I have learned from my struggles and successes as a parent along with my years in the field of education, I look forward to hearing from you, my fellow parents. Please feel free to send comments and questions to tackle in upcoming blogs. You can comment on this blog or email questions to Laurenrand7@gmail.com
Founded in 2010, Lauren M. Rand Consulting, LLC is unique in its approach of combining expertise in understanding the variety of ways that students can learn, knowledge of curriculum in area schools, experience within the education setting, and a willingness to support the individual as s/he grows the necessary skills of independent thinking and learning. Lauren Rand provides educational consulting, parental training/support, comprehensive college planning and placement, and specialized learning instruction. If you would like an individual consultation please feel free to contact her at www.laurenrandconsulting.com or 860-212-1325.
