Hamden Couple Makes Good in Marriage and Business

“I would love to marry you again,” Vincent Ruotolo sweetly told his wife, Carmel. And so he did - again and again and again and again. Done? Hardly.

“We’ve been married five times and never divorced,” says Vinny. “It’s likely we’re not finished,” he says smiling, as he measures a customer’s mirror at B&R Glass, a family-owned business.

The couple first married more than 35 years ago at St Michael’s Church in New Haven. It was a traditional Italian wedding, lots of food and lots of guests, says Carmel.

“We had 250 people and went to Niagara Falls for our honeymoon. I remember it clearly,” she says. Carmel and Vinny also clearly remember the additional ceremonies when they renewed their vows.

“My Father’s House in Moodus was our second marriage. We went into the chapel with my three children. A lady brought in three rosary beads and gave them to our children. Father said to Vinny: ‘How would you like to marry this sweet little girl again?’ It was so beautiful,” says Carmel.

The couple also renewed their vows at the Cathedral in Hartford. It was after a friends wedding. The priest asked those in attendance who would like to renew their vows, explains Vinny. “We raised our hands and renewed them again.”

Geography may be a boost to the couple’s committed and longstanding marriage. According to the Center for Disease Control, which keeps state to state statistics on marriages and divorces in the US, Connecticut had one of the lowest divorce rates in the country – 3.3 per 1,000 as of 2007. Later figures released by the US Census Bureau, show an overall increase in all states, but Connecticut remains below the national average of 10.7 % as of 2009.

The couple has been working together in their family business for 20 years, driving in together to and from their home four days a week, sitting across from each other in a tiny office, discussing contracts and helping customers. It’s a mom and pop shop located at 3500 Whitney Ave where they and their customers are all on a first-name basis.

The company, a full-service glass facility, installs, cuts and customizes small residential requests for mirrors, glass, table tops, screens and shower doors. Their son, Vincent (Jay), one of their three children works in the business along with the family dog, Bella who greets every customer.. Barbara and Salvatore are their other adult children.

In 2001, Vinny and Carmel celebrated their 25^th anniversary. They invited 61 friends, of who 60 attended. It was then that the couple again renewed their vows.

“I’d do it over and over. How many men, after 35 years, still want to hold your hand…want to look in your eyes and say they love you. Not that many,” says Carmel.

Carmel says though they take the business very seriously, when closing time comes, they get in the car and it becomes family time.

“We’re old school- in the car, during our drive home and at the family dinner table where we have dinner and long conversations at least four or five times a week. We do not bring the business home with us. We can’t because we work with each other everyday. You need down time from that to find out what’s going on with him…with me,” says Carmel.

 “I think communication is so important. Our dining room table is our gathering place. When we’re done eating, no one leaves the table by choice. The talking just goes on and on and on.”

“Sometimes, there are no words,” says Carmel. “I can just look into his eyes and know his thoughts…know what he’s thinking. And sometimes, I can finish his words. What I know is this. We have had our ups and downs as all couples. But Vinny and I have come a long way and we are in a good place….a very good place.”