If a Chicken Seems Friendly and Other Thoughts

If people have to tell you they have a good sense of humor, they don't.

If a guy leads with, "Now I'm not the brightest guy," he isn't, but he wants you to tell him he is.

If a woman says, "I used to be quite the looker," she wants you to affirm that she still is.

If anyone admits they sometimes have a flatulence problem, believe them.

If someone tells a racist joke, I have no sense of humor.

If someone claims to be a safe driver, remember that 9 out of 10 drivers think the same thing, but 8 out of 10 drivers will get in an accident in their lifetime.

If anyone tells you they are pretty laid back or easy going, there's a good chance they are more uptight than they know.

If people like to talk mostly about themselves, they have no idea how truly boring they are (but they make a good salesperson).

If anyone feels it necessary to tell you they are good at something without being asked, they're insecure about how good they really are.

If someone doesn't seem to talk much, consider they're probably not being aloof and could just be shy.  Either that or you give them the creeps.

If a dog seems very friendly, it is.  Dogs don't lie.

If a cat seems very friendly, it could be like that all the time, or it could be manipulating you for its own personal pleasure.

If a chicken seems very friendly, it wants you to feed it.