Some Lessons in Reality

I’m a big fan of reality. I’m the last person you want in the room when watching a movie. I will go so far as scream at and correct Disney cartoons. “That would NEVER happen! Carpets can’t fly, and even if they could, that particular one is far too thin to hold two people!” It’s a curse or a gift, depending on the circumstance. I believe in homeschooling, it’s a great asset. My kids might not agree.

They are privy – or subjected – to a constant stream of lectures concerning “real life.” I have a special scenario for each particular occasion.

When my son asks me for help with work that he can obviously do himself, I have the “I’m not going to college with you; you need to learn how to motivate yourself” speech.

When one of them complains they can’t work because their brother is being loud, I have the “what are you going to do when you work next to an obnoxious person who never shuts up?” lecture. The rare time that my kids work up the courage to tell me their schoolwork is boring, well, they get to endure my very special, “When you’re working for a paycheck, try telling your boss you’re bored and see how well that goes over” talk.

There are a lot of things I can’t abide, and whining about reality is one of them. The reason it bothers me so much is there’s not much you can do about reality. The not-so-fun job, the annoying cubicle mate, the ‘I-don’t-feel-like-working-right-now’ sentiment, they are part of life, and you just have to deal.

This is a trait that runs in my family, deeply. About a decade ago, my logical engineer brother took it upon himself to give a lecture to his roommate. He was a young guy who enjoyed playing guitar. He enjoyed playing guitar so much that he wanted to make a career out of it.

Most mature adults know what the odds of that happening are: slim to none. My brother was deeply concerned that this young man would waste the best years of his life chasing a defunct dream. So, in as caring a way as he could, he talked to this young man about odds, finances, truth, REALITY. His gesture was well-received. I know this because whenever this young man’s uber-famous band comes to town, he always gives my brother some backstage passes. One sweet gesture deserves another, you know.

My oldest son just turned 12. I sat him down and let him know that in four years, he’s probably going to want a car. The reality is we won’t be buying one for him, so he should start saving now. That week he started collecting bottles and cans and cashing them in. Our neighbors’ weekend habits will put a set of wheels under that boy! I’m thinking my focus on reality is what motivated him to immediately do something about his future car. He knows I’m telling the truth when I say you might be getting a car, but it won’t be from us.

Stroking egos and supporting delusions won’t serve my children in the long run. Eventually, the truth of the world will catch up to them. This is clearly illustrated every January with the airing of American Idol auditions. It only serves to make someone a laughingstock when no one tells them the truth.

I can teach my children to read, solve mathematical problems, but if I can’t teach them to operate in reality, it probably won’t do them too much good.

So I’m just keepin’ it real.