Moms' Talk: Your Children and Sex

Just when I thought it was safe to sit down with my children and relax while watching the nightly news, the Cialis commercial came booming through the speaker, talking about erectile dysfunction and lovemaking any time of the day!

Oh my goodness!  My girls are old enough to know exactly what they are talking about but that does not make it any less embarrassing.  As the commercial progresses the drug’s side effects are reviewed, in great detail. The girls cannot help but be amused when the announcer bellows, “Erections lasting more than four hours are rare and require immediate medical attention.”

Two days later the girls are watching one of their “must see” TV shows and there on the screen are two individuals having a romp on an office table!  “And this is ABCFamily?” remarked Bob. 

Does this kind of material on primetime TV make you uncomfortable in front of your children?  How do you approach talking to your children about sex and related topics?

There is no escaping it. Sex is everywhere.  If you’re not watching it someone is talking about it.  I want to hear about someone else’s sexual escapades as much as I want to share my sexual escapades with them - NEVER!

I remember being nervous about having “the talk” with my girls.  I stressed about how to broach the subject.  When was the right time?
How much detail should I give them?

I talked to a few people and was advised that a great way to introduce the subject to young adults who are being raised Christian, was through Christian-based books.  I bought the “God’s Design for Sex” books.  The subject was addressed in a sensitive, caring way.  It was covered in exactly the way I wanted the girls to receive it.  My job was done, right? 

As you can probably guess those books never made it out of the shopping bag and they remain in my closet to this day.  The one book both girls did enjoy reading was The Care & Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls (American Girl Library). While it explains how young girls can take care of their body it never goes as far as talking about sex.

It should come as no surprise that I ultimately decided to have one-on-one conversations with the girls. There is nothing that replaces face-to-face communication, especially with sensitive subjects.  You can gauge what a person is thinking and feeling by looking at their eye contact, facial expressions and body gestures.

I dole out information to the girls on an “as-needed basis.”  Lots of our discussions stem from something they have heard, seen or witnessed.  I have taught them by example that they can ask me anything they want.  Many times I see a teachable moment and I seize it as an opportunity to open the door to a discussion that otherwise we might not ever have.

So, while I find sex being portrayed in television shows, commercials, movies, magazines and newspapers to be inappropriate, I try to make the best of the situation.