This post was contributed by a community member. The views expressed here are the author's own.

Neighbor News

“The other morning it had been snowing all night. So, the morning

joke

“The other morning it had been snowing all night. So, the morning goes like this”




8:00 I made a snowman.
8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
8:15 So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 The nanny of the neighbors complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest.
8:20 The gay couple living nearby grumbled that it could have been two snowmen instead.
8:25 The vegans at No. 12 complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 The Muslim gent across the road wants the snow woman to wear a headscarf.
8:40 Someone calls the cops who show up to see what's going on.
8:42 I am told that the broomstick of the snowman needs to be removed because it could be used as a deadly weapon.
8:45 Local TV news crew shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I joke, "Snowballs" and am called a sexist.
8:52 My phone is seized and thoroughly checked while I am being blindfolded and flown to the police station in a helicopter.
9:00 I'm on the news as a suspected terrorist bent on stirring up trouble during this difficult weather.
9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices.
9:29 A little known jihadist group has claimed it was their plot.
Moral: There is no moral to this story. It's just the America we live in today!

The views expressed in this post are the author's own. Want to post on Patch?