The Ten Commandments of Facebook Use

As Facebook continues to boom and attract new users daily, it seems to me there ought to be some sort of etiquette that one can follow on the social networking site.

Much of what I am about to suggest may seem quite obvious but for those of us who use Facebook regularly we know that some training is in order. I mean, if Emily Post has a book of etiquette to help people along with their social graces, why not social networking etiquette by Mark Zuckerberg ? Certainly, we do not want to raise a generation of ill mannered Facebook users.

For those of you new to Facebook, pay attention, this is for you. For those of you who think you know it all, pay attention, this is for you.

Here’s my best list of ten, but please feel free to add to this list in the “comments” section:

1. Share your big news on Facebook only after you’ve communicated  with all the people who should know before you share it with the rest of the world on Facebook. Mom and Dad shouldn’t be the last to learn that you just got engaged or that they became grandparents. 

2. Don’t share someone else’s big news on their Facebook wall (or yours for that matter). People are often far too anxious to let the world know they know something everyone else doesn’t and post it as their status. For example, “Congratulations on your new bundle of joy,” may seem harmless enough, unless of course, the baby was born only minutes ago. People like to share their own news.  Don’t be a spoiler.

3. Use a proper tone. Anger, mean comments or sarcasm have no place on Facebook. Use a tone and language that is acceptable and won’t incite or upset others. As a rule of thumb, if you wouldn’t say it to a person’s face, don’t say it on Facebook. Comments that can be misconstrued or misdirected are only asking for trouble.

4. Do not “tag” friends in pictures that are embarrassing or unflattering. Facebook is not a venue meant to make others feel badly or be embarrassed. If a friend untags a photo of themselves, leave it be.  They obviously would prefer that picture not be out there. Respect that.

5. Keep you relationship problems to yourself. Splattering abominable words about your ex only makes you look foolish. Resist the temptation to put him or her down. Quotations and song lyrics that are depressing and point to problems in your relationship are just as thoughtless.

6. Remember your audience.  This is extremely important.  If Grandma is your Facebook friend, it’s a good idea to watch your language, not blabbermouth about your drinking rampage or hook up. In fact, keep it all to yourself.  Do any of us really need to know all that? And remember, anything that’s on Facebook might turn up and turn against you when it’s time for a job interview.

7. Don’t give too much information.  This is similar to number six but includes pictures that are a bit seductive, pictures of your drinking rampage and the name of the person you hooked up with.  Do not underrate privacy.  It’s a good thing and should be used lavishly.

8. Don’t post private info on another person’s wall. If you have something private to share, send your friend a "note” through Facebook, email them, make a phone call or meet them for coffee but do not post it to their wall. 

9. Friend your friends, not every Tom, Dick and Harry. If you are a comfortable acquaintance with someone and their name pops up on Facebook by all means friend them if you would like but be prepared to not get accepted. There seems to be different levels of “friends” in Facebook land. Some, particularly teens, friend just about everyone they’ve ever met. Others are a little more selective and truly only want close friends in the mix. Others fall somewhere in between the two extremes.

10. Don’t use Facebook to veil a real complaint you have with another person. It would be prudent to address your issue with the person directly rather than making secretive comments that are juvenile.

Facebook has tremendous potential for good, but the stakes are just as high for malevolence. If you follow these few rules you will be on your way to finding Facebook to be an enjoyable venue to keep up with your friends and family. Keep it light. Keep it fun and enjoy the social networking.