Report Cards Are Out....Now What?

The grading period has ended and report cards are out.  You have kept abreast of your child’s grades throughout the marking period. So really, no surprises. Yet, the grades are not what you have come to expect.   What used to be a Straight-A report card may now have some Bs and Cs. Report cards previously with Bs and Cs, may now have become Cs or Ds.  Now What?

First, take a deep breath.  This single report card is not going to make or break your child’s chances of going to Yale, Princeton, or any other elite school.

“OK”, you say, “But my son/daughter comes home after school feeling defeated and dejected for the first time.  It’s breaking my heart. What am I supposed to do?”

Here’s a 4-step plan

1. Stop the Blame Game

A report card, good or bad, results from a lot of factors; The teacher’s ability,  your child’s true efforts and persistence and yes, your actions or inactions as a parent.  Blaming the teacher, even if warranted, does nothing to remedy the grade situation.  Yelling at your child will certainly only amplify any bad feelings they already have.  The current report card is “water under the bridge”.  It’s done.  It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to understand what happened. (see step 4), rather, it means you should use that energy to impact the next and future report cards.

2. Model Desired Behavior

My daily affirmation calendar has an entry that really hits home.

"No one will listen to your advice and ignore your example."

Your child’s report card presents, as they say, a “teachable moment”, an opportunity for you, as a parent, to model behavior you would like to see your child exhibit.  If I had a dollar for every parent that told me, in front of their child, that they hated Math, I’d be a rich man.  Telling a child that you hate any subject is a sure-fire way for them to lose interest in that subject.  Instead, demonstrate to your child the intellectual curiosity you would like them to have.  Create quiet time every evening to read a book...no TV, no Facebook, no SmartPhone.  Just you and your book.  Praise them when they show grit, tenacity, and perseverance to fight through a tough situation.

3. Establish a Disciplined Homework Routine

Today’s kids have a lot of distractions, from social media to a myriad of other sports and activities.  It is important to establish an effective homework environment.   Your child should begin by having a plan for the day; What is needed, When, 1st priority, etc.  Establish a set time for doing homework, whatever works best for your child.  Create a clutter free workspace with ample light and supplies.  Keep distractions to a minimum, no TV, headphones, etc.  Lastly, let your child do their own work.  You can help explain directions and clarify things, but don’t “feed” your child the answers or do the work yourself.  It’s their homework and they need to do the learning.

4. Constructively Engage with Teacher and the School

You should be an active participant in your child’s education.  You should be attending parent-teacher conferences, finding out about how assignments are given and posted, how homework is assigned.  When grades fall below expectations, schedule a follow up meeting with the teacher.  If your actions show the teacher you are there to truly find out how to improve your child’s performance, teachers will be glad to sit down with you and discuss a go-forward plan.  On the other hand, if you act accusatory toward a teacher, expect them to act defensively.  It’s human nature.

Beyond your child’s classroom, stay actively involved in extracurricular events.  Attend PTA events, Board of Education meetings, etc.  Again, if your child sees you involved at school, they will know that school is important and that you care.

Best of luck for the next grading period!