Community Corner
Message from The Ana Grace Project
This is from Nelba Marquez Greene, her daughter Ana Grace was one of the children killed at Sandy Hook.
As a mom, I am struggling today. I continually remind myself that in order for me to be my best self for my kiddos, I need to take care of myself first. Please moms, dads, grandmas, friends, teachers, everyone - put your oxygen mask on first.
Stop and reflect on how this is impacting you first, what emotions are surfacing, and then develop a plan on how to support your kiddos. This won’t be perfect, you may show your own emotions (that’s ok), and it will be hard. Please surround yourself with a village of love and connection.
Dear parents,
The way you talk and present current events and tragedies to your child- the way you explain it to them- matters almost as much as the news.
Your children will take their cues from you. They need to know they are safe with you. This is a terrifying thing to do and it will feel like lying considering all of the things happening in this world. But it’s our job as parents.
Trust me, as a mother and mental health professional who has had to deliver the worst news.
Take care of yourself, parent/caregiver. And then talk to your child/ren- the young people you care for.
-age appropriate delivery of information
-reassurance that they can ask questions of you
- limit the news and social media. Full stop
- remind them there are helpers
- do something fun and connecting and be grateful you still can
- watch for changes in behavior
Taking my own advice, I did everything on this list and then transferred $ to isaiah’s account with instructions to order himself and his school bestie something nice for dinner. Make a positive memory today, Isaiah. Make all of the memories.
Don’t have children? Find a gun violence survivor in your area and send them supper. Send a card. Check in. And don’t forget about buffalo.
Teachers. Educators. Rational, loving human beings: I am so damn sorry. Again. We have been failed.
That I have the capability of doing this and delivering this message to you today is a testament to our community of support, my commitment and your prayers. That there is a repeated need for me to do it? That’s a nation’s shame.
Pray for the families.
Nmg
Find out what's happening in Naugatuckfor free with the latest updates from Patch.
To this dear, beloved state of Connecticut that I so love:
For educators, counselors, front office folks, school nurses, paras, school bus drivers, cafeteria workers, administrators, any additional staff, and school/community adjacent adults.
For first responders, medical staff and everyone who helped us.
For every local small business owner that did not take advantage of tragedy but donated to help families.
For our beloved reporters, journalists covering this shooting who also covered ours.
For our government officials. On every side.
For every single funeral home and clergy who responded humbly to December 14th 2012.
For parents. For caregivers.
For all within the state who wake up this morning facing horrror upon horror of this latest news- after having lived Newtown:
We are grieving with you. You are not alone.
As role models for children and community leaders, please take care of yourselves today. Regulating the mind and body may include:
1). Movement (sustained physical activity and rhythmic repetitive motion like walking, running, hiking, dancing for at least 20 minutes).
2). Outside time (go in nature).
3). Connection (make an effort to connect with at least two or three people today. Check in).
4). Brain rest. (It is okay to disconnect from news coverage).
Doing these things will help us be better leaders for the young people in our care.
Employers: today would be a good day to demand less of people.
We have hotlines. We have helpers. We have community support. Use them.
We are a grieving state. We are a grieving nation.
I lift up by name today, some of our helpers:
Our families
Our friends
Police officer Jason H. and his family.
Dr. Laura Nowacki
Dr. Robert Bazuro
Eunice from Bagel Delight
Carmon Funeral Homes
The First Cathedral of Bloomfield
Glory Chapel International Cathedral of Hartford
WhyteRidge Baptist Church of Winnipeg
Harry Connick, Jr
The Tartaglias
The university of Hartford
The members of the choir in Bridgeport who sang Love Wins through tears
Reverend Leroy Parker and his Family
New Hope Baptist Church of Danbury
Klingberg Family Centers and my former colleagues
Western Connecticut State University and my husband’s colleagues
Isaiah’s teachers and coaches and other hockey moms
The parents of his friends who brought their children here to play with him
Every single one of you who prayed
Nelba L. Márquez-Greene, LMFT
