Are there senseless acts of love that keep romance alive?

Yes!  Listening, springing surprises, and doing the little things that matter.

Remember when you and your spouse hung on every word each other said because you wanted to understand each other’s thoughts, feelings, and opinions on just about everything?  Your spouse loved you for it.  There are ways you can show that you still value you him/her, and that he/she is still attractive, still interesting.  You just have to listen.  Set aside some time.  Listen to whatever your spouse has to say.

And who doesn’t like surprises? A special candlelit meal for just the two of you? An unexpected invitation to a hike into the countryside? A single rose to commemorate a day that’s special only to the two or you (and is not an anniversary or birthday)? Reeka who writes at www.tinybuddha.com suggests that “surprises can initiate those weak-at-the-knees passionate feelings you felt in the earlier stages of your relationship.”

And then there are the little things that don’t matter much to you but do matter to him/her.  As a lark, my husband and I took a marriage course a few years ago and were asked to rate each other on various aspects of the marriage.  I thought our marriage was perfect so I always gave him top marks, 5’s.  When I asked why he was giving me 4’s in some cases he shrugged and said he rarely gave top marks.  As the 4’s kept piling up I finally asked him about one specific item. 

“What would I have to do to make that 4 a 5?” I asked.  The answer was something simple. Matching his socks into pairs and folding them together (not turning one over the other) before I put them away.  “Why didn’t you say so before?  I could’ve been doing this for the last 20 years,” I asked. He mumbled something about not wanting to hurt my feelings.  So ever after I folded the socks. Then I tackled the other 4’s.

But what happens when you are seniors and aging or advanced care is necessary and it means living apart? Suppose one of you has to move to an assisted living facility or a nursing home.  First, the stronger one has to make self-care a priority, says Kristine Dwyer at www.caregiver.com.  You need to be strong for the one who’s no longer able-bodied.

Then, you visit as often as you can and when you’re together as a couple, you go on listening, springing happy surprises, and doing little things that matter.

My husband and I used to enjoy dancing and there was a time when we went out dancing almost every night.  The last time he lay sick in bed, I put on some music, climbed in with him, and there we were holding each other, remembering the good times we’d had dancing the night away so many years ago.

You can keep alive the positive memories of a relationship through reminiscing, looking at photographs, or the two of you can even write your love story together.

Norma Nixon Schofield

nschofield@abc-seniors.com

As always, Always Best Care is here to help, offering a 'bigger picture' philosophy, ABC's reputation is built on providing one of the highest levels of individualized and customized care in today's market. Besides regular in-hone care, we are able to supplement the temporary needs of people wherever they find themselves needing help.  F or the full story visit our site at: www.alwaysbestcarewesternct.com or call us at (203) 262 6170.