Remember the Fallen, Honor the Heroes, but don't Glorify the Tragedy

Ten years ago, we were living a very different life. We were DINKS (double income no kids) living in the sprawling CT metropolis of Stamford; a mere stone’s throw from New York. I was working as a Product Manager for an international videoconferencing company and my husband was a consultant for an IT firm in New York City. We both had clients and friends in the city.

The events of 9/11 are one of those memories that try to stay hidden in the recesses of the mind, not fully forgotten, but placed there for safe-keeping; only to be recalled when absolutely necessary or on a dark, rainy sad day. This year, it seems as if everyone wants to be reminded of the tragedy of ten years ago and I’m not sure I can really read or watch one more story on how people’s lives were changed forever that day.

Maybe it’s because I lived it and don’t want to go through the horrors of that day and the weeks following again. I can recall the moment I found out about the first plane. I was at my work desk and my phone rang. Like any other workday, I answered it. On the other end, was my mother, in a panic, inquiring where my husband was. “On the couch at home. He called in sick today.  Why?” 

“A plane hit the trade center in New York and we may be under attack.”

My phone kept ringing: my in-laws, friends, family all calling to find out where my husband was. Since his job required him to move from client to client, it was hard to know where in the city he could be at any given time, which explains everyone’s concern.

On that day, the day he called in sick, he had been scheduled to be in one of the World Trade Center buildings. 

Unlike my husband, countless friends, co-workers and family members of many Americans were not so fortunate. I wonder how difficult it is for those directly touched by the tragedy to be force-fed with stories and images and have to “remember” the events of the "anniversary of 9/11."

To me, it's not an anniversary; that would indicate a celebratory event. Remember those lost, yes. Honor the heroes, without a doubt. Commemorate the horrific events that touched the world? I'm not so sure. 

My heart breaks and I pose the question, how do we remember the fallen and honor the countless heroes without glorifying the tragedy?