Back in the Game...Literally

Back in the Game…Literally

It’s been almost a year since I found anytime to post my witty and insightful dating advice because I was in a relationship.  It’s funny how being in a relationship causes you to forget all the silly little quirks of the dating life. Now that I am back to where I left off as my relationship obviously didn’t stick, I am now ready to continue my own therapy regarding dating after your 30s through writing about it.

I try to utilize all the tools provided to me to try and meet my match including on-line personal ads. The on line tool has never been effective for me; however it does provide me with a sense that I am being proactive in my own search for a suitable partner.  Now I remember, after only a couple weeks on these sites, why I was so grateful last year when I met someone that allowed me to delete my profile.

“Shopping” for a mate on line is much more difficult than it needs to be I think. What is so hard about putting up a picture, writing your “dating resume” and then trying to connect with potential matches? Good old fashioned dating involved talking to someone and if you think you may be a good match…you meet and see where it goes. What happened to respect and trying to make a good first impression? What happened to men behaving like gentlemen and treating a female like a lady?

In my last relationship, I did feel like a lady in the beginning. It was a wonderful relationship for the first half of the time we dated. Midway through I started feeling more alone being part of the relationship than I had when I was single. I don’t need a man to complete me, however it would be nice to have someone who I can look at and just know he hung the moon. I am beginning to think there is no match for me, and after joining the on line dating world, I seriously doubt my match will be found there if he does exist somewhere.

My latest woes on line include several inappropriate propositions and some who accused me of being a serial dater and basically wanted me to commit before I even met them. Why can’t there be a happy medium? I believe on line allows too many people to be superficial, judgmental and fake. I would like to see it shift back to a place where you put your best foot forward, treat other people with respect and don’t lie about anything including what you are looking for. If you are seeking a hook-up partner, there are people of the opposite gender who would be more than happy to join you. I am simply asking for honesty so that I can make an informed decision as to if the man contacting me would be suitable for me and my desired dating outcome. And if you are looking simply for fun with no desire to be in a relationship, read someone’s profile first before you proposition them with an absurd email. We live in a civilized society, why can’t we act in such a way that is synonymous with respect and common sense?

All and all, I realize you need to kiss a lot of frogs…and boy have I had my share of frogs.  There is only one match for every person; thus I wish more people would make an honest attempt to seek and secure a mate.  I, now more than ever, believe there has to be a better way. That is where my singles group “TheSingleEvent.com comes in. I may not always go to the events we host looking for a potential partner, I go for the social connection and so that I don’t need anyone to ask me out to have fun. I join and create activities that I enjoy so that if someone attends that possesses qualities I look for, at least we have things in common. I encourage everyone to join activities that you enjoy because the pressure of dating is off. There are no expectations because you aren’t on a date. The potential to meet like-minded individuals grows ten-fold when you approach it this way. I won’t be deleting my on-line profile anytime soon as frustrating as it is simply because it is a tool nonetheless, no matter how depressing it can be. Maybe I will find a diamond in the rough.

I invite my readers to comment and share their own witty stories about dating. I think this should be a group discussion. Maybe collectively we can find a solution to this issue. But if not, maybe we can laugh with you and be each other’s support system.