Not your Momma's Dating

After leaving my husband seven years ago, I found myself in this scary world of dating. How do people meet one another in the 21st century when you are now in your 30s and have two small children?

Do you go to bars?

Do you scour through thousands of on line profiles only to find all profiles are sounding exactly the same?

I am going to sort out for you the different ways in Connecticut that you can meet not only members of the opposite gender, but also social and networking opportunities.

About a year after I left my husband and went on countless “first dates” that usually ended up disastrous, I knew there had to be a better way. It seems “daters” are on a free-for-all out there and it just wasn’t working for me. I wanted to meet people in more of a social way.

Using the Internet to search for local social groups, specifically co-ed volleyball, I came across TheSingleEvent.com, of which I am now the executive director.

I was in my mid 30s at the time and I ventured out to my first event, which was volleyball at Hammonasset State Park. I almost turned the car a million times since I don’t do things like this. I always knew I was pretty social, but to drive an hour to play volleyball with a bunch of strangers was very scary. Although, at the time many of the participants were a little older than I was, I was pleasantly surprised as to how much fun I had and that they are very accepting of “new friends."

Not only did I take charge of my own social life and not have to wait for someone to take me out, I left that event with 20 close friends. I have been involved with TheSingleEvent.com for 6 years now and not only do I now have upwards of 100 friends, I have dated within the group, met friends of friends and networked my business and gained clients.

Another service TheSingleEvent.com offers is Speed Dating. We have two events every month - Speed Dating for suggested Ages of 30-45 at Adam’s Mill Restaurant on the fourth Tuesday of the month and Speed Dating for suggested ages 40-55 at Vito’s By the Park in Hartford on the fourth Wednesday of the month.

I like this type when you are “dating focused” because it is much safer than on-line dating or meeting someone at a bar. Many people think speed dating is desperate or too weird, but it is just the opposite. We are all busy people as we work on our careers or have children so it makes perfect sense. Who wouldn’t really want to meet up to 20 people in one night? We all know when someone walks in for our blind date if they seem interesting yet you start calculating in your head at what time you can fake a migraine or illness in order to get out of it. With Speed Dating, each date only last seven minutes so therefore the very few “non-matches” you will have seem bearable. You don’t even have to reject them. Once the event is done you would hand your speed dating card with the names of the people you met and simple yes or no answers as to if you would be interested in seeing each individual person. A few days later you get an e-mail with the results and only get each other’s contact information if there is a “mutual match.”

It is generous. We have had at least 33 marriages result from speed dating and countless relationships develop. And I want to publically thank both Adams Mill and Vito’s by the Park for their generosity, ambiance, great food (always provided) and outstanding customer service they provide to us to have kept speed dating available to us and our participants for a very low cost.

I am convinced that the best ways to meet other singles is to do what it is you like…even if that is going to the gym. You want to meet like-minded individuals so that you can have a lot in common. The bars are pretty much out of the question unless you are looking for a booty call. But social activity seems to be working because those who you might not have agreed to date based on a two-dimensional picture and profile on an “on-line dating site,” you just might like him/her  when you realize how much you have in common and see the animation of the other person. Real life beats fantasy all the time.

If you are interested in any of the services we provide, please feel free to check out our web site at TheSinngleEvent.com and find us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/groups/thesingleevent/.