People Who Have Lost the Ability to Move

It may sound rude, but I’m often tempted to yell at the top of my lungs, “Get out of my way!” at multiple times during the course of the school day.

A lot of these times are during the six minutes in between classes. People just don’t seem to understand the concept of walking down a hallway or simply moving faster than a rock.

And in what world is it ever OK to just stop walking in the middle of a crowded hallway? If you were a car, about six people would probably be dead. But no, you’re right. I really wanted to have my face smushed into your smelly backpack just then. So thank you.

But the hallways aren’t the only place I feel the need to yell at people to get out of my way. Another lovely venue is the girls bathroom. You are a girl. I am a girl. I understand your need to check yourself out in the mirror before leaving or even coming into the bathroom just to enjoy the luxury of that big glass mirror.

But I think if after 10 minutes of trying to perfectly place that strand of hair behind your ear or applying 10 different layers of lip gloss, you still aren’t satisfied, then you might as well give up. You look as good as it’s gonna get for today and need to move on over, out of the way. Y’know, some people actually like to wash their hands after using the bathroom, but they can’t do that if you’re finding some impossible way to block all three sinks while leaning in to try and perfectly curl your lashes.

All I’m saying is that some people need to know when enough is enough.

And if I’ve got a perfectly healthy pair of lungs, why not use them?

- Allison Hawley

The RHS Creative Writing blog posts are part of an interactive collaboration between Vernon Patch and Victoria Nordlund's advanced creative writing class. Each student in the class writes a blog post once per week and the class votes on which ones to publish on Vernon Patch.