Parents Should Reward Effort!

All parents should read Dr. Carol Dweck’s book, Mindset! I know all of us parents love our kids and want the best for them, but unfortunately, what we don’t know is that sometimes we’re stunting their success and happiness. And to make it even worse, our good intentions are hurting our kids in the exact area where we are eagerly and passionately trying to help them…

You see, we all want the best for our children. And when they do something good, like bring home a good report card, or score a goal in the soccer game, we praise our children for the good that they have done. But, perhaps, according to Dr. Dweck, we should show more restraint and not praise them for their good deed, or at least be careful in the words we choose to use when praising them for doing something good.

Our good intentions of praising our kids when they do something good makes them afraid of the day that the praise stops because they failed to produce the desired results, a victory of some sort. Our well-intentioned praise inadvertently makes our kids afraid of failure. And even worse, it can make them hesitant to try something hard to do.

How do we parents lay the foundation and open up the shipping lanes for our kids to become the types of people who live amazing lives? To tell you the truth, we can begin by stopping the automatic praise of our kids for their victories and praising their effort and courage for taking on challenges. We need to do this new kind of recognition regardless of whether they fail or succeed at these newer and more complicated things.

Now, as my Granddaddy always said, “Go learn, lead, and lay the way to a better world for all of us.” Praise the effort, not just the victory. Eventually, praising the initiative and effort will create more successes than one could have ever imagined. And once again parents, thanks in advance for all that you do, and all that you will do…

Daniel Blanchard is a New Britain Schoolteacher, bestselling and award-winning author, speaker, educator, and TV Host. Learn more about Dan at: www.GranddaddysSecrets.com