Learning to Pay It Forward

In the hustle and bustle of today's "Me Me, Me" society, people always seem to be angry and in a hurry.  I see it at the grocery store, on the highway, practically anywhere. Tempers flare, road rage rears it's ugly head and middle fingers pop up, all in an effort to teach "offenders" a lesson while making "the offended" feel better. 

And yes, I've been guilty of it in the past, until my daughter pointed out that it was rude and obscene.  Now I resort to what my mother called the "hairy eyeball."  Because most driver's eyes should be on the road, I doubt they even see me. 

Everyone has their bad days, me included.  That's when I usually stay home, away from the public.  It eventually passes... until next time.

But something happened recently that changed my perspective.  I was in a very foul mood, having driven 45 minutes one way,  from an appointment in a torrential downpour.  I stopped at our local pharmacy to pick up a prescription and realized I had left my purse at my last stop.  Ugh. Luckily, I had enough money in my pocket to get what I needed. 

While standing in line, I noticed a little old lady waiting in the foyer of the pharmacy with a walker full of stuff.  Thinking she was waiting for someone to pick her up, I said to her, "Aren't you glad we don't have to shovel rain?" She laughed.  "I'm just waiting for the rain to stop so I can walk home," she said. 

I offered her a ride to her door. She gladly accepted.  I piled her walker and groceries into my little rust bucket, and helped her into the car.  She lived only two blocks away, but the rain was unrelenting.  I took more time and helped her into her house and then brought in her things.  She thanked me. I was soaked, but went home, took a hot shower and felt better.

The experience made me think of another day not too long ago, during Connecticut's last bitter cold snow storm - one of those storms where 6-12 inches was expected to fall. I had stopped into a local Dunkin Donuts.  Outside, there was a bus driver who had just dropped off his passenger for an appointment and he was waiting for him to finish. 

The snow was coming down hard and fast.  The bus driver was standing outside the coffee shop, smoking his last cigarette, cursing that he left his wallet on his dresser at home in Torrington.  I reached into my pocket and gave him all the spare change I had and told him to go in and get a nice hot cup of coffee. 

He said, "Oh no maam, I can't take your money." I think he was embarrassed. I was also down on my funds, it being the day before payday. But  I insisted, telling him I only lived down the street and telling him that I'd done the same thing -  leaving my wallet at home more times than I can remember.  

The bus driver thanked me, took my money and got his cup of coffee.  I never did get his name, but I felt pretty good about helping him out in that very small way.

And so I've learned what "Pay It Forward" means. It means performing an unexpected act of kindness for a stranger - something as simple as holding a door open or paying someone a compliment, telling someone to "have a nice day" and respecting each other as human beings. 

If everyone would do one small, simple act of kindess each day, maybe then there would be less anger, bullying and road rage in our "Me, Me, Me"  world.

And with that, I sincerely hope that you, "Have a nice day!"

Donna Ploss is a freelance writer who lives in East Hartford. She usually covers stories about pet rescue efforts in North Central Connecticut, but was inspired to write this opinion piece by an unexpected act of kindness.