Disconnecting

By Carol Dores

I remember trying to get our sons to turn off the television and video games. Hours upon hours of fighting. We would negotiate, yell and unplug the devices. Then came the cell phones. If any of us looked at our phones during a meal, we would have to read and share the entire conversation with the family. That seemed to help.

But what is really going on with the use of electronic devices?

Science is beginning to show us that devices are really addicting. We use them a little, and then get used to it, and need to have more. Which begins to explain why the arguing would get so intense. It also begins to explain why it is so hard for all of us to disconnect.

What can we parents do to help our children disconnect and not get lost in their screens?

· Begin by modeling the behavior we want in our children. If our children see us on our devices all of the time, they are likely to do the same.

· Have a discussion as a family about what limits you can all agree to when it comes to devices. Be very specific, such as one hour a day on any device. Then ask your children to repeat back what the understanding is. When the hour is up, you can then ask them, “What was our agreement?” Follow through is critical! You can read more about agreements at Jane Nelsen’s blog http://blog.positivediscipline.com/2011/05/agreements-positive-discipline-tool.html.

· Plan fun family activities. Sit together, and brainstorm ideas. Some free ideas include planning and cooking a meal together, doing a scavenger hunt, or playing board games.

The face to face connection time is priceless. This is what creating family memories is about.

Want to learn more about how to connect more with your children? Visit www.positivedisciplinect.org.

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