Pushing our children to acheve

By Carol Dores

I’ve been fortunate lately to be able to be with a lot of high school students. There is a consistent message from them: they are overstressed, feeling too much pressure, and are exhausted.

From an early age, we are having them join sports teams, do other activities, and get good grades. We know that in order to get in to a good college, a child needs a strong resume. We love our children, and we know what’s best for them. This pressure to succeed is causing incredible pressure on these kids. Many seek release from the pressure – drugs, alcohol, cutting. Some simply check out, knowing they can’t make the “grade”.

I invite you to step back and think about what’s really important. In the grand scheme of life, is it getting in to the best college and earning lots of money? Or is it finding the passion and joy in life? I wonder if we focused on the passion and joy, if the rest would more easily fall in to place. What if instead of focusing on achievement, we focused on helping each person become the best that they can be?

How can you influence your child to become the best they can be?

· Instead of asking what grade they got on a test or project, ask them what they learned, or if they tried their hardest.

· Instead of pushing multiple activities, ask your child what they like to do most, and suggest activities that tie to their likes and strengths.

· Instead of asking how many goals or points they scored after a game, ask them if they enjoyed the game.

· Instead of structuring all of their free time, allow them time to wind down and play. We all need down time!

By helping our children figure out their strengths and passions, they are more likely to enjoy the things they are involved with. We can help them shift their focus from uber-achievement to finding the joy and passion. Maybe your child won’t be a doctor or engineer. Maybe they will be a chef, or a kitchen designer. A photographer or a teacher. And maybe they will find their joy.

You can read more at www.positivedisciplinect.org,

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