Stone's Throw: Technology Turns On Me

Stone’s Throw

I signed up to blog on the Patch a week or two back and just as I was ready to go I opened an email from a friend I hadn’t hear from in quite a while. It had a link saying “this is fantastic, click on this" thinking it was a musical performance, something we’ve shared before I clicked. Turns out to be an ad for a work at home site. I could not navigate away from the page and had to shut down my system, including pulling the battery out of my laptop. I knew I’d been had right away I just did not know how badly. 

Having the same computer skills that most people have flying a space craft I let the computer sit overnight hoping it would magically heal itself, but noooo. When I logged on the next day I find I am running a mysterious unrequested scan that finds 59 “infections” and If I log on, this very generous virus protection program will clear it right up for me for a small fee, of course. I can cancel at any time. I may be a short busser when it comes to computers, but I do know a rat when I smell one. 

The next day, apparently, I’m sending the same email to other people on my email list, one of whom called me and asked If I had sent the email. When I answered "no" he informed me I had an email virus and maybe more. The “maybe more” part made me nervous. I had day-mares about little creatures erupting from my machine and stealing my bank cards. The next day I could not even get to my Word program. I was completely shut down. A friend helped me recover as best he could and I am back online but everything is slow to unresponsive. 

As I’m waiting for something to load I am thinking, who are they? Who would do this? I am also thinking of ways these wretched creatures of the dark should be punished. I start making a list. The little blue circle keeps circling and the painfully slow green data loader indicator creeps. My simmering black beans need to be stirred and my conversion van needs a wax job. I probably have time.

 Now, when I Bing for information for research I get mostly pay sites. I binged for “cooking black beans” looking simply for, how long to cook them and every site wants me to sign up so I can download their recipe. I cannot access Wikipedia. I click on it and the computer responds as if it’s going to load but it never does. I found that out after I finished the van. I did find one bit of information. Don’t know if it’s true or not but thousands of viruses or variants come out every day. Many are variants of so called “Script Kiddies” who get hold of a viral code, modify it and send it on. I don’t know what this means but, Script Kiddies? This is somebodies’ rotten kid? Why I oughta’. 

This really isn’t a laughing matter. Now, I will have to pay someone to bring my computer back to par. I depend on my computer for research and writing. Email and Facebook help me keep track of what’s going on with friends and events. I can afford the fix, but I’d be willing to bet some end up putting the cost of the fix, or worst case, a new computer on their credit card. Many people pay their bills and manage accounts online and really can’t go without a computer.  It is definitely a societal crime, likely impossible to enforce. 

So anyway, here is my list.  he death penalty is likely too severe, but these things affect millions of people. The punishment should reflect the crime:

If it’s a kid they should be made to type a hundred thousand word essay titled “Why I should not Pull this crap on PEOPLE …  aaaaaaaand a fifty thousand word essay on how sorry they are that they pulled this crap on people. They have to type it on a World War Two Remington typewriter...  aaaaaaand it is graded by the victims. If they don’t love it, do it again.

In my day-mares I could see these two geeks laughing about me clicking that fatal click.  “Hey look, it’s that same dumbass that clicked on us last year,  Hahahahaha, lol  lol”.    Well,  if it is adults having their perverted sense of fun all their evil equipment gets destroyed right in front of their eyes.  Then they have to be food stops along the Iditarod trail even when there is no race, staying in cabins with only a transistor radio and eight track tapes and no vehicle.. aaaaaand log a thousand miles being water boys on a desert safari…aaaaand  they have to sell hot dogs, in the summer, in Florida sun in front of a grocery store until they replaced all the computers they ruined.. 

If it is malicious the criminal needs to spend some serious time in Jail.  Life would work for me.

I had a bigger list but sticking them in tank with pythons probably wouldn’t fly.

That’s my throw on that.