Your Child is a Bully: Tips to Prevent the Behavior

1. Talk with your child. Find out why he or

she is bullying others. You might explore

how your child is feeling about himself or

herself, ask if he or she is being bullied by

someone else, and invite discussion about

bullying. Find out if your child’s friends

are also bullying. Ask how you can help.

2. Confirm that your child’s behavior is

bullying and not the result of a

disability. Sometimes, children with

disabilities bully other children. Other

times, children with certain behavioral

disorders or limited social skills may

act in ways that are mistaken for bullying.

Whether the behavior is intentional bullying or is due to a disability, it still needs to be

addressed. If your child with a disability is bullying, you

may want to include bullying prevention goals in his or

her Individualized Education Program (IEP).

3. Teach empathy, respect, and compassion. Children

who bully often lack awareness of how others feel. Try

to understand your child’s feelings, and help your child

appreciate how others feel when they are bullied. Let

your child know that everyone has feelings and that

feelings matter.

4. Make your expectations clear. Let your child know that

bullying is not okay under any circumstances and that

you will not tolerate it. Take immediate action if you

learn that he or she is involved in a bullying incident.

5. Provide clear, consistent consequences for bullying. Be

specific about what will happen if the bullying continues.

Try to find meaningful consequences, such as loss of

privileges or a face-to-face meeting with the child being

bullied.

6. Teach by example. Model nonviolent behavior and

encourage cooperative, noncompetitive play. Help your

child learn different ways to resolve conflict and deal

with feelings such as anger, insecurity, or frustration.

Teach and reward appropriate behavior.

7. Role play. Help your child practice different ways of

handling situations. You can take turns playing the part

of the child who does the bullying and the one who is

bullied. Doing so will help your child understand what

it’s like to be in the other person’s shoes.

8. Provide positive feedback. When your child handles

conflict well, shows compassion for others, or finds

a positive way to deal with feelings, provide praise and

recognition. Positive reinforcement goes a long

way toward improving behavior. It is more effective than

punishment.

9. Be realistic. It takes time to change behavior. Be patient

as your child learns new ways of handling feelings and

conflict. Keep your love and support visible.

10.Seek help. Your child’s doctor, teacher, school

principal, school social worker, or a psychologist can

help you and your child learn how to understand and

deal with bullying behavior. Ask if your school offers

a bullying prevention program. Bullying hurts everyone.

Parents can play a significant role in stopping the

behavior, and the rewards will be immeasurable for all.

from PACER.org