Grief for a Loved One with Dementia or Alzheimer's

Grief for a Loved One with Dementia or Alzheimer's

by: Linda Burhans

Grief and loss  sometimes occurs when your loved one is still alive.  Caregivers know that Alzheimer's disease and dementia can create many practical challenges. And many caregivers say that the hardest part of caregiving is not the practical side but in fact the emotional side.  It can be a heartbreaking experience watching your loved one slip away more and more each day. I see this many times in the support groups I facilitate.

You may be experiencing daily losses.  These can range from loss of income, freedom, time, the relationship you had with your loved one and health just to name a few.  This loss is also known as grief.

I know that no two people experience grief in the same way.  Emotions can range from denial, anger, guilt, sadness and/or acceptance.  Allow yourself to be as sad
as you want.  Please know that it is common, very common to feel conflicting emotions.  It can be very helpful to talk with someone you trust about your grief. 

Don't let discomfort prevent you from reaching out to someone when you're grieving.  When you talk with other caregivers you share your emotions and that can be very comforting.  Now more than ever you need support.

Many people think grief happens when someone dies. They may not understand that it's possible to grieve for someone who has a progressive illness.

When feeling sad or stressed, take some time to sit quietly in a comfortable
place.  Slowly take a deep breath, breathing in love for yourself.  With
each exhale breathe out your worries, fears and negative emotions.  Repeat this
for five times or until you feel the tension releasing from your body.

I also encourage you to be kind to yourself. Stop telling yourself that whatever you are struggling with “should” be easy.  If something is hard for you, it’s
hard for you.

Linda Burhans is a keynote speaker, best-selling author of the book "Good Night and Gaod Bless" and caregiver advocate with Harmony Home Health. To find a support group or workshop in your area facilitated by Linda go to www.harmonyhh.com