Journaling to Cope

Journaling to Cope

By: Linda Burhans

When caring for my mother the last eighteen months of her life, many times writing in my journal was the only time I had to take care of me.  Providing care to someone you love is a stressful time as you are not only providing physical and emotional care for your loved one, you are also dealing with your own feelings and emotions.  Many caregivers use journaling as an outlet for their stress.  Journaling is a wonderful tool you can use to help you cope with this difficult time.

Most people are prone to keeping their feelings bottled up inside. Unfortunately, doing so can increase stress, which ultimately leads to decreased health and well-being. As a caregiver, you can’t afford to be in poor health, including poor mental health. A healthy, positive outlook and mindset is crucial when caring for another. In order for you to continue with the important service of caregiver for your family member or loved one, you need tools to unlock those feelings.

Getting those Feelings Out

Writing in a journal is a wonderful way to write with some freedom, with little to no judgment. Journaling involves getting your feelings out of your head and your heart, and placing them someplace safe. The physicality of writing about your feelings begins the process of exploration and eventually resolution and stress relief.

To begin journaling, follow these 3 steps to get those feelings down and out:

1. Get a nice notebook or journal. This is important since you will be writing in it on a regular basis.  Choose something that you like,  so you look forward to writing.
2. Find a quiet space to write. Be consistent and write daily. Even if you only write a few sentences, write daily. Also, date it so you can track the changes you are going through. This often becomes important later as you move through your feelings about the person you are caring for.
3. Be honest about what you are feeling. These pages are for your eyes only. If you have had a particularly stressful day, get it out. Use that paper as a form of release. Those feelings have to go somewhere and it is better to express your frustration or hurt on paper then with other harmful expressions. Use your journal to vent your frustrations. 

The benefits of journaling regularly include:

• Think more clearly. Get all that mess rattling around in your head out and down on paper. Once the frustration has left, you can then make informed decisions based on facts, not feelings.
• Live in peace.  There are so many little irritations during a day of caregiving. Not everything needs to be approached and dealt with.  Some things are just bothersome, but they still weigh on your mind. Get them out on paper and then let them go.
• Chronicle a life well spent. When a loved one is gone, your journal is a record of the good days and bad days of their life spent with you. Don’t only use it to write down frustrations but important and cherished moments you don’t want to forget.
• Journaling is therapeutic and beneficial. For caregivers, it is a way to stay sane while doing a sometimes exhausting job.

 Linda Burhans is a Caregiver Advocate with Harmony Home Health (www.harmonyhh.com) and is the author of the book “Good Night And God Bless”  Please feel free to join Linda at one of her support groups or journaling workshops.